Thursday, May 05, 2005
Matrimonial Mistakes
Son, I’ve never been more disappointed in you, than I was today
I didn’t think it was possible, I didn’t bring you up that way
It’s your wedding day, the best day of your life
The day you hold your lady and take her as your wife
The whole family came expecting, to have a grand old time
And the taste you left us all with, is as sour as a lime
Your actions were unacceptable, you didn’t show much thought
It was a huge decision, not sure why my advice was never sought
What were you thinking, only ordering five kegs of beer
With 300 on the guest list and every, one of em’s here
Now the hall is all dried out and we don’t know what to do
You’ve ruined the reception and this perfect night is through
Your uncle Fred ducked out the back, when the beer was no longer free
The word spread real fast and what came next was mutiny
Both your cousins, Jim and Jethro, set the DJ’s both on fire
The bartender was taken captive and was declared a dirty liar
The women and the children could only sit and weep
Cause with no booze, no one can stand, Timmy, the family creep
He’s the only one that didn’t care, about our tragic situation
He’s too busy talking about boogers and accidental urination
Grandpa fainted in the corner, from what must've been, sheer disbelief
Uncle Ron, the family alcoholic, started shaking like a leaf
Everybody was looking around, trying to find some simple answers
The men cried out, “Let’s go down town, and get ourselves some nudie dancers”
It won’t be forgotten, the night our family ruined the local K.C. hall
Our necks were shining as red, as the most famous reindeer of them all
Son, you’ve brought about shame, unto the HuckleBuck family
And I’m sorry I didn’t want to do this, but I’m cutting your branch off our tree
The moral of the story, should be plain to see
Alcohol’s the glue, that hold’s together family
It keeps us on the level, may not always make you walk a straight line
And when it comes to weddings, ten kegs or more, and you’ll be fine
