Monday, October 29, 2007
Draft #206
The 2007 Church League Fantasy Basketball draft was last Wednesday and here is an indepth look at the Cousy's Cagers lineup:
Centers
Player: Pau Gasol
Drafted: 1st round, 7th pick overall
Selected over: Dwyane Wade, Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire, Shawn Marion, and Tim Duncan.
Analysis: My original plan was to select Dwight Howard with this pick but he was taken 2nd overall ahead of Kevin Garnett. If Howard wasn't available, then I was going to take either Gasol or Stoudemire since both are center eligible. And since Gasol dishes out more assists than Stoudemire, I made him my selection. The Grizzlies are looking to play a Phoenix Suns type fast paced brand of basketball and with Miller, Conley Jr., Lowry, and Gay helping to spread the floor there should be plenty of space for the "Meal Ticket" to operate.
Player: Andrew Bogut
Drafted: 5th round, 42nd pick overall
Selected over: Rashard Lewis, Raymond Felton, and Kevin Durant
Analysis: My orginal plan was to select Bogut with the 54th pick but when Emeka Okafor, Mehmet Okur, and Al Jefferson all went sooner than expected, I decided to pull the trigger a round earlier. Bucks coach Larry Krystkowiak was around to witness last season's debacle and I have faith that part of his solution to the problem in Milwaukee is to get Bogut more involved on the offensive end of the floor. As a fan, it's hard to forget Bogut's 20 point/24 rebound performance against Philadelphia last season and the potential that is lying somewhere within this 3rd year big man.
Forwards
Player: Josh Smith
Drafted: 2nd round, 19th pick overall
Selected over: Paul Pierce, Jason Kidd, and Al Jefferson
Analysis: It's safe to say my affection for Josh Smith is somewhere between "man crush" and "restraining order". Smith can definitely fill up a stat sheet and his numbers have been on the rise for the last three seasons. Last year when I ended up with him in the 4th round I said I could have a poor man's LeBron James on my hands and Smith didn't disappoint. James ended the year averaging 55 fantasy points while Smith averaged 47 points (which is equal to late 1st round, early 2nd round production). My biggest fear, aside from injury, is that Smith gets moved to small forward in an effort to get Zaza Pachulia and Al Horford more minutes up front. If you recall, a similar scenario happened to Andrei Kirilenko out in Utah and his numbers have never been the same since. Fortunately for me though, I don't think anyone is confusing Pachulia & Horford for Okur & Boozer just yet so I think Smith will still get a ton of minutes at the power forward slot.
Player: Lamar Odom
Drafted: 6th round, 54th pick overall
Selected over: Antwan Jamison, Allen Ray, and Brandon Roy
Analysis: Once LaMarcus Aldridge was taken directly infront of me with the 53rd pick I was forced to come up with a plan B because I was 100% certain Aldridge would be available. Plan B would have been to take a guard but Raymond Felton, Andre Miller, and Mo Williams were all off the board at this point as well. So...enter plan C. Odom is typically a 4th or 5th round talent but a shoulder injury kept others from selecting him that early. He's a player that can do a little of everything across the stat sheet and he could be huge this year if Kobe decides to pass the ball and even bigger if Kobe is traded midseason.
Player: Ron Artest
Drafted: 6th round, 59th pick overall
Selected over: Josh Howard, Andrei Kirilenko, and David West
Analysis: Coming into the draft I really, really, really never anticipated a scenario in which I'd have to contemplate selecting Ron Artest. I was convinced that with my 5th-7th round picks I was going to come away with some combination of Felton, A.Miller, Mo Williams, Bogut, and Aldridge since I was willing to take both Bogut and Aldridge much earlier than projected. Artest always has a lot of "ifs" attached to his fantasy value but he's not short on talent. As long as Ron Ron can refrain from starving pets, domestic disputes, or having beer thrown at him, he should be serviceable this season.
Player: Al Horford
Drafted: 10th round, 99th pick overall
Selected over: Charlie Villanueva, Boris Diaw, and Al Thornton
Analysis: I was originally planning on selecting Rudy Gay with the 99th pick and Horford with the 102nd pick but Gay was off the board so I went with Al a couple of spots earlier. Horford had a stellar preseason and will no doubtably be the Hawks starting center before Thanksgiving. Teammates Shelden Williams and Zaza Pachulia are the Ralph Malph and Potsie to Horford's Arthur Fonzarelli when it comes to the center position and it's not even close. Horford is a man while Zaza and Shelden still wet the bed. I'm confident Horford will be busting opponent's chops to the tune of 14 points and 10 rebounds a night and you heard it here first.
Guards
Player: Vince Carter
Drafted: 3rd round, 22nd pick overall
Selected over: Yao Ming, Andre Iguodala, and Baron Davis
Analysis: My original list of candidates to be selected with this pick read as follows: 1) Al Jefferson 2) Paul Pierce 3) Carmelo Anthony. Of course all three of them were off the board so I was forced to go with plan D! I decided to go with Carter because he was the best guard available (according to my list anyway) and since I was taking a guard with my third pick that meant I wasn't going to be forced to take a guard with both my 4th and 5th round selections. I've never owned Vince in my fantasy basketball career thanks inpart to the sleezy fashion in which he wiggled his way out of Toronto by admitting to not giving 100% on the court. He also couldn't stay healthy for a 2 or 3 year stretch and that also played a role in my not wanting anything to do with Vincanity. But.....gulp......he's been healthy for 3 years now and his numbers during his time with the Nets are not all that far off from T-Mac's or Kobe's so let's hope this trend continues.
Player: Kirk Hinrich
Drafted: 4th round, 39th pick overall
Selected over: Jason Richardson, Kevin Martin, and Marcus Camby
Analysis: Kirk has been on the Cager's radar for years now and this will be his first season with the franchise. The Cager's targeted him with this pick and scooped him up as soon as their turn came in the 4th round. I like the fact that he can score, rebound, dish, and play defense. He's never had a dominate low post scoring threat while in Chicago to keep his assist average closer to 8 or 9 as opposed to his usual 6 or 7 but as long as he puts up his usual near-40 fantasy point average, the Cagers will be none disappointed.
Player: Rajon Rondo
Drafted: 8th round, 79th pick overall
Selected over: Stephen Jackson, Andris Biedrins, and Marvin Williams
Analysis: Last season the Cager's signed and released Rondo about as often as Doc Rivers shifted his starting lineup around, which was about every other day. Given the opportunity and minutes, Rondo can be a fantasy force. His incredible speed helps him penetrate the lane (assists), get to loose balls (rebounds), and play the passing lanes (steals) with ease. I'm thinking his production will be along the lines of 11 points, 7 assists, 4 rebounds, and 2 steals a game which would be good for about 35 fantasy points per contest which is what the Cager's are praying for this season. And with Delonte West and Sebastian Telfair out of the picture, I don't see any reason why he couldn't reach these totals if not exceed them.
Player: Jameer Nelson
Drafted: 9th round, 82nd pick overall
Selected over: Leandro Barbosa, Jamaal Tinsley, and Rudy Gay
Analysis: Looking at the negatives of this pick--Nelson stands at about 6 feet tall (with 4 inch heels on), he's coming off of a terrible season, Carlos Arroyo or Keyon Dooling could take his job in a heartbeat if he slips up again, and he's never averaged more than 15 points, 5 assists, or 3 rebounds in any of his 3 years in the league. On the bright side-- Nelson had a ton of success in college, he's in a contract year, he's young and has room for improvement, Stan Van Gundy is his coach now and rumor has it he will be able to transform Jameer into a pass first point guard, Rashard Lewis will help spread the floor, Dwight Howard is emerging as a big time scoring threat, and Jameer has dedicated this season to his father who recently passed away. I'm not sure what this all means for the Cagers this season, but if Nelson can boost his averages to 17 points, 7 assists, and 4 rebounds he won't have to ride the proverbial fantasy pine.
Bench- Travis Outlaw, Paul Millsap, Ronnie Brewer, Acie Law IV, and Kyle Lowry.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Draft #205
Anchor Man II: Wes Mantooth's Revenge
I got this idea while in the shower this morning, why hasn't there been an Anchor Man sequel yet? After scrubbing my balls for a few minutes I started to think about the different routes and angles the sequel could take and here is what transpired within the inner workings of my giant man brain.
When we last left Anchor Man: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Ron and Veronica Corningstone had taken their act national which leaves me with a few questions. Who's taken over for Ron and Veronica at the news station back in San Diego? Is Wes Mantooth's station gaining ground in the battle for news team supremacy in that city? What's Mantooth's station like? How are Brian, Brick, and Champ doing at Channel 4 without their fearless leader? I think there is a lot of directions this sequel could take and here are some of the subplots I would focus on.
Scenario 1
Give the audience a look into Mantooth's newsroom. Give us a sample of some of the day-to-day mishaps and blunders that continue to make Wes the #2 anchor in San Diego. I want to know where this frustation of his stems from. Wes could have a mock version of Brian, Brick, and Champ-- a group of idiots that make his job a nightmare.
Scenario 2
The Channel 4 News Team hires a hot shot anchor that isn't much of a team player (a Barry Bonds type if you will). His arrogance and selfishness make him a bit of a rogue within the Channel 4 news team and the guys try to come up with different schemes to make his job difficult (ala goofing with Corningstone to make her want to leave in the original movie) eventually leading to him quitting or being fired. The hot shot anchor is able to keep Channel 4 atop the ratings list (mainly on station reputation) but Ed Harken can feel the heat and it is only a matter of time before they are overthrown. Unless something drastic happens.....
Scenario 3
The straw that broke the camel's back. Mantooth's station just hired a female manager who's a huge sexist and is making life even more miserable for Wes (a renowned womanizer). Eventually Harken and Mantooth get together and sign Wes to a Channel 4 contract. The guys (Brian/Brick/Champ) don't take to Wes right away, but they eventually form a Ron Burgundy type bond. The ratings gap begins to widen and Channel 4 has a ton of momentum and is the clear cut leader in the news industry.
Scenario 4
Meanwhile, back in the national news scene, things are going great for Ron (or at least it seems as such). Slowly, Ron and Vernonica's relationship begins to fall apart and it becomes apparent that Veronica was just sleeping her way to the top and that it was all a sham. Before Ron is hit with this revelation, he is already having problems coming to terms with the fact that his new job isn't as glamorous as he thought it would be. He misses his friends and being the big fish in a small pond-- a town hero of sorts. He's growing tired of being a cookie cutter national news anchor. Nobody wants to party, it's all business, all the time and Ron can't take it anymore.
Scenario 5
Ron hits rock bottom, again. (the grizzled, drinking expired milk and eating cat poop Burgundy is back). Ron's world is upside down and there appears to be no hope. He catches Veronica in bed with another higher up in the news industry, his old arch nemesis is now the #1 anchor in the town he longs to return to, Brian/Champ/Brick have cut off ties and befriended his old nemesis, and oh I don't know, Baxter gets punted off a bridge again. Things couldn't be worse.
What's next?
From here I'm not sure where the movie should turn next. Ron could take up various odd jobs in the San Diego area just to be close to the city he loves. He could work a drive thru window (did they have drive thru's in the 70's?) or whatever other jobs that seem to be beneath his talents. He just wants to be in the shadows (and it's not hard because nobody even remembers him) to make sure he can pounce when the time is right.
I just thought of something:
Slowly but surely, through a series of precise schemes, Wes is driving the Channel 4 News Team into the ground. Wes found out that his old station manager (the she devil) was fired and his old loyalties are burning deep. He takes a look into the mirror and can't believe what he's seeing, he actual helped the newstation he despised with every fiber of his being remain on top.
That's all I got. Throw in a few sex panther jokes and I think this is a pretty good template for a movie idea. Maybe this is something that is already in the works, maybe not. But one thing is for sure, the world is ready for more Ron Burgundy!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Draft #204
Freestyle Tuesday?
-Damn right beaches, the Huckster is removing his pencil from his A (for a day) and putting some words on the old telecomputer machine. Thanks to numerous weeks of inactivity, my readership has all but abandoned me for the comfortable confines of their Facebook home pages. And honestly, who can blame them. Blogging is as about as popular right now as unflavored yogurt. So with an open canvas and an empty studio audience, let's let the dribble fly....
-If you think about it, Glade's new aerosol fragrance "Clean Linen" is quite the invention. Commonly used to cover up nasty smells left in the bathroom, Glade's new product gives customers the chance to replicate what crapping the bed might smell like. Thanks Glade!
-Speaking of crapping the bed, how about them Chicago Cubs!?!? Thank you Arizona Diamondbacks, you just saved me from a massive headache and the need to throw my lamp across the living room.
-The following players from my fantasy football team need to take a few Andy Bernard famed "awesome lessons" because their performance thus far has been killing me this season:
Steven Jackson- Honestly, a groin? Do you even need a groin to run effectively? Time to suck it up buddy.
Andre Johnson- I onced backpacked through the Appalachian Mountains the week after I was mauled by a team of wild mongoose. The doctor said I'd never walk again and I showed him. Andre, you twisted your knee a little bit, come on already!
Maurice Jones-Drew- Not his fault Fred Taylor isn't severely injured by now. I had week 3 in the pool. Too bad.
Vince Young- He hasn't been flat out abysmal but could definitely use some more awesome.
-My newest food infatuations: Tomato Basil pizza, Jambalaya, and Fettuccine Alfredo. If I ever decide I'd like to become grossly obese I'm just going to eat these three things on a rotating basis meal by meal and a let my arteries sort things out for themselves.
-Things you should never do to a grandmother:
1) Push her down a flight of stairs (they don't typically bounce back from that brand of practical joke)
2) Stop feeding them. It's not like they are cats or something, they actually need nourishment.
-I've said it once and I'll say it again, I'm just not into carving pumpkins. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to use my pumpkins for masturbation instead of decoration.
-I threw this out to a few of ya's already, but it bears repeating. How many people do you think are currently on this planet who were conceived while their parents were high on cocaine and making "love" with the song "Funky Town" playing in the background? My guess was 7-10 people. My brother guessed a 1,000. Let the debate begin.
-The Cowboys win over the Bills last night reminded me of the time that gang of hoodlums cornered me in the alley behind an Orange Julius and kicked my testacles in until I blacked out. Of course, I'm speaking from the angle of a Bills fan. Not that I'm a Bills fan, but you get my drift. I was having a splendid time that particular day before the hoodlums worked me over in the alley. I petted a dog that day, whistled a tune, and took in the smell of a pie cooling on a window sill, just a red banner day all around. Until that was, I wound up in an alley getting my trouser bells rung repeatedly by a flock of hooligans. There's nothing like waking up in an alley in a pool of your own vomit to remind you of how quickly things can turn, for the worse that is. Bad times.
