Thursday, October 20, 2005
Draft #10
On Wednesday night I found myself watching Karate Kid on TV, and why not. For those of you who grew up in the 80's and had parents who didn't love you (that being the only possible reason you haven't seen this movie yet) I will provide you with a brief synopsis of one of the greatest movies in cinematic history. Boy moves to new town, boy gets picked on, boy's had enough, boy forges friendship with older oriental man, boy learns karate, boy gets girl, boy gains respect of his peers by winning a regional karate tournament, the end.
Seeing as how I've seen this movie a few times there was nothing that came as a surprise to me, except for how much the sensei of the town dojo resembled Nick Lachey (formerly of 98 degrees and currently dangling on Jessica Simpson's coat tails for a living). If Nick is having any trouble finding work then his first priority should be to create a spinoff of the movie, and star in it himself as the guy who runs the dojo because they are dead ringers for each other. Now I know there has been numerous sequels to the Karate Kid but none of those have been from the perspective of the sensei. Nick's spinoff could be about a traveling dojo that competes in karate tournaments all over the country. His pupiles could be a band of misfits ala the Bad News Bears, and have a collective reputation for being dirty fighters with Nick "the sensei" Lachey choreographing all the illegal maneuvers. I guess the movie would need a subplot though? Man couldn't just live on karate alone, I mean Daniel-sun had the steamy relationship with the rich broad and Mr. Miogi, so perhaps the kids will turn to drugs and lead a life of crime due to the fact that their parents sent them off to karate camp for the summer with a crazy sensei who has a rampant cocaine addiction. That ought to add a few twists and wrinkles into the plot.
Now while this movie idea my not be cinematic gold, I did stumble upon an old 98 degrees website while trying to find a picture for the blog. On Nick's bio I discovered the following quotes (bear in mind this was probably pre Jessica); "I kind of like headstrong women. I like to deal with a little adversity and have a struggle every now and then." And "We want to make history. Twenty years from now, I'd like to think that 98 degrees will leave a lasting impression." Holy crap batman, I can still see the steam rising off of those bat statements. The first statement just goes to show that no matter what we're looking for in the opposite sex, it's hard to resist a big pair of hooties (pocket rocket for the ladies) and a large bank account. Although I'd like to think I could resist if the girl was that stupid. And as far as the second quote, I'm not sure if 98 degrees is going to make it into the history books and that impression may have lasted for about a year or maybe two. Now the Backstreet Boys, there's a band you can set your watch to, timeless. I guess this article should just serve as a warning to Miss Simpson. Run, run while you're still young and have you're whole life ahead of you. I've given you a glimpse into the future, and it doesn't look good for Nick, and as a wise man once told me, "No reason to stay aboard a sinking ship, when that thing goes down, I'm jumping." Same advice can be given to Brett Favre and Katie Holmes. And in the case of the Lions, the ship may not be full blown sinking and there may be no need to jump, but sometimes you just need to throw a few people overboard to rid yourself of the dead weight, ie Joey Harrington. The ship crew is terrific but the captain is constantly drunk at the wheel. Heave Ho!
# posted by hucklebuck @ 8:37 AM 
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If you like a good cover band you should check out Dick LaGay if he is in the area. I have yet to experience a concert yet but I hear this guy is the real deal.
Congratulations to healthyblogger for writing the longest comment ever and for confusing the living crap out of me. Anxiety depression and the Karate Kid, holy right field.
Erik, thanks for the kind words. Your martial arts credentials are outstanding as is your commitment to excellence. Have you ever chopped or kicked anything or anyone in half?
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