Monday, November 28, 2005
Draft #20
Time to make the doughnuts? Nope, time to name the baby. My sister is currently knocked up courtesy of, your guess is as good as mine, I'm still skeptical as to whether or not my brother-in-law is capable of such an enormous feat. And yes, she is married (no bastards in my family, assuming little brother can keep his hand out of the cookie jar). Big sister is about three months along, so I figured it was time to start brain storming ideas for possible names for the future first born of the "Bod" (My bro-in-law's nickname). The only rule in this brain storming exercise is that we are looking for creative names that most likely do not exist. The inspiration for this endeavour comes from Natalie Portman's character in the movie, Garden State. Only in this instance, if my sister is foolish enough to select one of these names, this poor child's original moment will last a lifetime.
Boys names:
-Rumple Stills
-Strogenhoff (nickname Beef or Beefy)
-Smolder
-Frush (what the fuck's a frush?)
-Amodd
-Tomy (pronounced Tah-me)
-Harmonious
-P.U. (Peter Uranium)
-F.U. (Francis Uganius)
-Harelein
-Jimblejumbles
-Kankerso
-Intestdan
-Seconspleaz (Incase it ends up being a fatty)
-Brogan
-Needledeek
-Humperton
-Dadson (it's true, he would be)
-Dorrmatthew (nickname Dorrmatt)
-Leakinsheet
-Trypodney (nickname Tripod)
-Muskus
-Spairibs
-Mulletow
-Stuftkust
-Spensbian
-Hugh (middle name Janus)
-Huskey
-Motorcylceman
-Tagenow (but his friends call him Tags)
-Maxferger
-Plow
-Heynow
-Skud (Why do they call you Skud? Skud- Wanna see my missle?)
-Optimus Prime
-Bona (middle name Fide)
Girls names:
-Lousah Kook
-Hourtney
-Cournapoket
-Shmelly
-Hildawirl
-Sharonadon'ta
-Flemma
-Orangugladis
-Carmellatoe
-Cumzintoos (nickname Cumzie)
-Dots
-Annasest
-Jinorma (middle name Chesta)
-Pentamula
-Skretchon (middle name Marx)
-Vestibule
-Himberly
-Hennifer
-Courvasia
-Trix
-Aintshe (middle name Inowing)
-Miffsie
-Amison (middle name Womin)
-Fooks (middle name Frofree)
-Hoolahoop
-Bartha
-Bloomer
-Tits McGee (Thanks Mr. Burgandy)
-Henrea (sounds like a disease)
-Hochimona
-Beacup
-Ornesta
-Bichnmoan
-Notaman
-Igloonia
-Higina
-Vibretta
On a serious note, the world lost a good one, when Karate Kid star, Mr. Miyagi past away over this holiday weekend. We here at Hucklebuck only hope that he died waxing on because nobody wants to meet their maker while waxing off. That would be a terribly embarrassing way to go.
On a not so serious note, I passed out leaning on my bed on Thanksgiving Eve with my pants at my ankles. My brother was kind enough to snap a photo of the occurrence. And as a cool down, the Friday after Thanksgiving, my dinner included two grilled stuffed burritos, a cheesy gordita crunch, a bag of popcorn (I had to eat something while waiting for the pizza to cook) and six pieces of pizza. Hang in there arteries, hang in there.
Here's a line to use when you finally see someone that you haven't seen for awhile. "So..........when the aliens obducted you, did they just go straight to the probing, or did they run some preliminary tests first?"
How about that Ron Dayne? Could he have looked any less excited to have been named the game's MVP on Thanksgiving? I would have done a lot better job on that blueberry cobbler during the postgame interview. I would have had blueberry smeared all over the sides of my mouth, and I would have asked Phil Simms for his mama's recipe while still trying to shovel more cobbler down. Livin up Ron, you missed a chance to market yourself as Ron "blueberry stain" Dayne. But still, you done Wisconsin proud Ron. Besides the jalapeno cheddar beefsticks I purchased from the gas station, your performance was probably the highlight of my Thanksgiving day!
Is there anyway for a guy to hold an umbrella without looking gay?
# posted by hucklebuck @ 8:56 AM 
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I like Humperton the best, his knickname could be Sir Humps Alot II. I don't think umbrellas are the least bit homosexual. They are fashion forward, well I guess being fashion forward is kind of homosexual. How about the only umbrella that isn't homosexual is the free Milwaukee Brewers that are handed out once a summer. We can agree on that at least can't we?
I just had a bad experience with an umbrella on the way into work yesterday. I was using mine due to the rain, but I was getting yanked around like a school girl trying to walk a crazy pit bull, the wind was just kicking my ass all over the place.
Meanwhile, this lady who wasn't too far from me, is handling the conditions just fine. I could tell other people were looking at me, probably thinking that I'm a little light in the loafers. Another shameful work moment.
Meanwhile, this lady who wasn't too far from me, is handling the conditions just fine. I could tell other people were looking at me, probably thinking that I'm a little light in the loafers. Another shameful work moment.
Haus, I don't want to be an uncle, twice over, so keep it zipped. And if you can't do that, keep it wrapped.
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