Monday, December 12, 2005
Draft #27
For those of you who are very unhip and not "with it", may I present to you the Toy's "R" Us hottest toys of the season list.
1. Bratz Rock Angelz Tour Bus:
-includes working FM radio, horn, with headlights and taillights that really light up.
-tinted privacy windows
-six totally rockin spaces, like a cruisin lounge, chill-out loft, primpin station, and hot tub
-can be yours for only $59.99. This doesn't include the Yasmin and Eitan dolls, if you want to add these two loveable characters to your purchase, then the total comes to $79.98
What Andy got as a kid:
-The A-Team Van made from a nondurable plastic
-Murdock, Face, Hannibal, and B.A. not included (but do get purchased later in rummage sale years after A-Team is cancelled and no longer popular)
-doors welded shut, nonfunctional
-red spoiler broken off in sandbox incident the following summer
2. Dora the Explorers Talking Kitchen Set:
-includes five recipe adventure maps and 28 play pieces
-features unique colorful Dora styling
-a life-size Dora figure for cooking camaraderie
-featuring bilingual phrases, music, and sound effects
-requires three AA batteries
-only $149.99
What Andy got as a kid:
-Castle Grayskull from He-man, you know, the most mystical and powerful castle in all the land, its secrets left by the Ancients; many evil-doers have sought to obtain its powers in order to conquer all of Eternia. He-man of course being the sworn protector of the castle's secrets and all Eternia.
-Grayskull is what I asked for, but I ended up getting Skeletor's castle, one of the biggest disappointments a kid could endure. Castle later ended up clogging my toy chest and was eventually sold in a rummage sale.
3. FLY Pentop Computer:
-it's computer power on paper that comes from an optimal scanner that sees everything you scan and write on special dot-matrix FLY paper.
-its got a brain (a built-in computer processor) and its got a voice and even its own language.
-if you've got a math problem, FLY Pentop can solve it
-schedule anything and FLY Pentop will remind you
-it's basically a fancy looking pen that comes with its own special paper and it costs a mere $109.98.
What Andy got when he was little:
-I got a freakin Magna Doodle
-it's a great way to keep kids from drawing crap on the walls
-doesn't solve math problems
-it's like an etch-a-sketch with a pen instead of dials
-affordably priced at $14.99
4. iZ from Zizzle
-hands down, the smartest $36.99 you'll spend this Christmas.
-it's a great gift for the iPod generation
-twist it's ears to create new rhythems and tracks
-high quality speakers inside, eyes bounce and nose pulses to the beat
What Andy got when he was little:
-when I was a kid, I was living in the cassette tape era
-I liked this iZ character the first time I saw him, when he was called Teddy Ruxbin
-never had a Teddy Ruxbin, My Buddy, or an Elf doll
-did however have a plush Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man doll
-functions included: nothing
5. Vikings Fortress from Lego
-no explanation needed here
What Andy got:
-wasn't actually deprived of Lego's, but Construx were way cooler
-Contrux were more practical, I used them to make swords, nunchuks, cars, and spaceships
-Lego's suck
I shouldn't complain, I had a fantastic childhood and I never went without. But there are certain presents you get when you're a kid that almost make you want to cry as soon as you open them. My aunt once got me the book, Shiloh for Christmas, and I remember having to hold back the tears. Probably the worst present I ever got. For my birthday one year I received a Ken doll from my uncle Bill and aunt Donna. They tried to assure me that it was cool due to the fact that it was waterproof, and apparently not all Barbie dolls were waterproof in those days. The Ken doll came complete with a yellow Corvette, so I wouldn't look completely gay I guess, if I ever decided to play with my Ken doll in the front yard. I know I probably said something really smart ass-ish when opening this present like, "What is this?" And forget I just used a question mark there, it was more of a smug statement, like "What the hell is this, this is a joke right. Please tell me you have a Liono (from Thundercats) action figure stashed in your purse, or behind your back? I'm gunna close my eyes and stick out my hands and something a girl wouldn't play with, better be there in 15 seconds or summa yoos are going to be uninvited real quick." I was a little bastard and I'm surprised I didn't get slapped more as a child.
Feel free to share with us a present that ruined your birthday or Christmas.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 9:20 AM 
Comments:
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My Grandma gave me a Teddy Rupskin when I was five and when I opened it, I punched the damn thing right in the face. Years later she gave me a pair of neon green elastic shoe strings. The best part of Christmas though is when Grandma gets all five Osowski boys the same sweatshirt but in different colors.
My name is Tina Cott and i would like to show you my personal experience with Yasmin 28.
I am 28 years old. Have been on Yasmin 28 for 4 years now. I am no longer going to be taking any hormones. this is the worst thing you can do. unfortunately, it's the easiest birth control but it's not worth the pain i've been through. and what's the point of it, by making you abstain? i hardly ever wanted sex anymore. i wish i could get those 4 years back.
I have experienced some of these side effects -
loss of sex drive, severe mood swings.
I hope this information will be useful to others,
Tina Cott
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I am 28 years old. Have been on Yasmin 28 for 4 years now. I am no longer going to be taking any hormones. this is the worst thing you can do. unfortunately, it's the easiest birth control but it's not worth the pain i've been through. and what's the point of it, by making you abstain? i hardly ever wanted sex anymore. i wish i could get those 4 years back.
I have experienced some of these side effects -
loss of sex drive, severe mood swings.
I hope this information will be useful to others,
Tina Cott
# posted by 
: 11:41 AM
: 11:41 AM << Home
