Monday, December 19, 2005
Draft #31
Christmas is the time of year
To be overly nice and spread fake cheer
A time to stand in lines to purchase presents
Mom always seems to like that Herbal Essence?
It's not hard to get excited about trees and cookies
And holiday songs that inspire dance and groovy Christmas boogies
Office parties, drunk co-workers, and mistletoe
Leading to fuzzy memories out in the parking lot under falling snow
This quite simply, isn't my favorite time of year
I'm not a fan of Frosty or any red-nosed reindeer
My home is bare of lights and silly decorations
The flight is all but booked for warmer destinations
Ho ho ho, and a Merry Christmas!
Oh shut the hell up, I'm so freakin sick of this
Everyone so warm and so happy, and full of such spirit
If Christmas were a balloon, I'd shove a needle right through it
The Santa at the mall doesn't care about your stupid ass
He's doing community service for running over a bumb near a highway overpass
The bumb was in the way and he was late for work
So I, I mean he, nailed him with his car all while wearing a smirk
I guess that's why guys like me and shopping mall Santa
Can't stand to smell, listen, or even look right at ya
You little bastards and your lists can all take a hike
I hope you like goverment cheese, daddy's laid off and can't afford a dirt bike
Go deck the halls, and lick my sac
Here's to grandma's fruitcake giving you a massive heart attack
Please spike the eggnog with a quart of rum
And shoot me dead if you hear that song that goes pa rum pum pum pum
You can call me a meanie or even a scrooge
But wait, this just in, we've got some late breaking news
Christmas sucks the business end of a broom
And feeding the holiday corporate beast will bring us all nothing but doom
The earth will open up and swallow us whole
So stoners world wide, hurry up and smoke your last bowl
The end is drawing near, Christmas has become an episode of many disgraces
The wisemen never took out loans to buy extravagant neck.....laces?
I'm gunna do, what I do every year
Stay in my apartment and drink, until the coast is clear
I'm notting coming out until Christmas is through
Cause my name is Levi, a newly converted, angry Jew
# posted by hucklebuck @ 10:38 AM 
Comments:
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Being a little harsh toward Jews aren't you hucklebuck? Personally, as a Jew, I don't enjoy people feeding the stereotype of the "angry Jew". I would just ask that you show more love towards all people at this time of the year.......if we all learn to hate less, we could make this world so much better. Thanks for hearing me out.
Actually I have found your blog to be quite entertaining at times whereas most peoples are quite boring. I just had a problem with what I thought was an unfair comment towards Jewish people. I'm hoping that none of it was said with any malice and I will continue to read.
I've got nothing against Jewish people, the whole thing was written about no one in particular, just a person who doesn't like Christmas. I don't even know why I put the Jew part in there. I guess it rhymed with "through".
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