Thursday, January 12, 2006
Draft #40
On my way to the UWM game yesterday, I heard a song on the radio that caught my attention. It was a little diddy sung by the ever so talented Black Eyed Peas. The song is titled, My Humps, and it is a very mesmerizing tune. At the next stop light, I almost got out of my car and humped the nearest light pole, I was so hypnotized. The song itself is pure genious, but I couldn't help but notice that this song seemed eerily similar to a song I've heard before. I believe a young lady by the name of Kelis already tapped the "My ass so great, it makes guys do things" market. Her ass, or milkshake as it is referred to, already brought all the boys to the yard, so if all the boys are at the yard, who then is trying to get at Fergi's lovely lady lumps? I'm very confused by all this, so let's take a minute to examine the lyrics of both songs to find some similarities and differences.Milkshake
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
and they're like,
its better than yours,
damn right its better than yours,
i can teach you, but i have to charge
I know you want it,
the thing that makes me,
what the guys go crazy for.
They lose their minds,
the way i wind,
i think its time
[Chorus x2]la la-la la la,
warm it up.
lala-lalala,
the boys are waiting
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
and they're like,
its better than yours,
damn right its better than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge
i can see you're on it,
you want me to teach the
techniques that freaks these boys,
it can't be bought,
just know, thieves get caught,
watch if your smart,
[Chorus x2]la la-la la la,
warm it up,
la la-la la la,
the boys are waiting,
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
and they're like,
its better than yours,
damn right its better than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge
Once you get involved,
everyone will look this way-so,
you must maintain your charm,
same time maintain your halo,
just get the perfect blend,
plus what you have within,
then next his eyes are squint,
then he's picked up your scent,
Refrain once more, and song ends.
My Humps
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump,my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
I drive theses BROTHERS crazy i do it on the daily
they treat me really nicely
they buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce and Gabbana, Fendi and then Donna Karen,
they be sharing all the money,
got me wearing fly gearrrrr i aint askin.
They say they love my ass 'n,
SeVen Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't fakin'
We can keep on datin'
and I keep on demonstrating.
My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got you,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
'Cause of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)
I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not my money.
Well mix your milk with my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.
They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancin' next to me,
Tryin' to feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryin' ta dance boy,
And move my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps
My lovely lady lumps
My lovely lady lumps
In the back and in the front.
My lovin' got you,
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me.
What u gon' do wit all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get,get,get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump,
What u gon' do wit all that ass?
All that ass in side dem jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream,
Make u scream, make u scream
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
In the middle of the, My Humps song, they make a reference to mixing cocoa puff with milk. I'm not sure what they are talking about, but it sounds like they are trying to make a milkshake of some kind. Also, Fergi doesn't appear to be charging for her lumps/hump, but the guys keep on givin and she just keeps on takin. Kelis, on the other hand, insists that the boys pay for the milkshake. I wonder if she takes credit cards? And if she does, I wonder what shows up on the old Visa statement? People at Visa, "Holy crap, check this out. This guy spent over $2,ooo on milkshakes in one week. What a fatty!"
When asked, "What you gunna do with all that ass, all that ass inside them jeans?" Fergi replied, "I'm a gunna make you scream", while Kelis claims that her milkshake will make you go crazy and lose your mind, two things that could lead a guy to screaming, I suppose. Kelis reminds us that thieves get caught, so no stealing the milkshake. Fergi reminds us that you are not allowed to touch the lumps/hump, but you can look.
In summary, lady lumps are boobies, hump is an ass and a lovely one at that. Milkshake is an ass in motion, or a variety of other things. If you want any of these items, you must bring it, or be able to maintain. You may want to sex the milkshake or the lumps, but you will be charged a fee, and in some cases touching may lead to drama. Side effects of these ladies secondary sexual characteristics include; mental instability, shouting, uncontrollable dance urges. And even though you know you can't have any, you're going to spend all of your money anyhow.
So the moral of all this is as follows. Female shakes her ass and tits, guys come running, go insane, throw money, female accepts money, guys get nothing but an unexpected pants surprise, guys go home. Sounds like a typical night at anytime nudey bar USA............ so I've heard.
Disclaimer: I don't know what I'm talking about.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 7:07 AM 
Comments:
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I have yet to hear the new song but I'm sure it will uphold the precedent set by years of excellent song writing from the ever so poignant Black Eyed Peas. I could really go for a milkshake from In and Out Burger.
Sir Mix-a-Lot. He's your testarossa, isn't he?
You can have them bimbos, I keep my women like Flo jo, creolo.
Cyprus Hill also had the straight forward approach with their hit single, "I want to get high" No beating around the bush with that one.
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You can have them bimbos, I keep my women like Flo jo, creolo.
Cyprus Hill also had the straight forward approach with their hit single, "I want to get high" No beating around the bush with that one.
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