Monday, January 16, 2006
Draft #42
I really do not like it when people take crosswalks literally. You know, the kind of people that walk through a cross walk without their head on a swivel like nothing wrong could possibly happen. These people most likely walk at a dreadly slow pace with their head in the clouds and could care less that you are in a hurry. Well here's a news flash for you kind of people, cars are bigger and faster than you. So next time you're walking through the cross walk with the comfort of knowing (slash thinking) that you have the right of way, remember this, I will run your ass over. And don't let me catch you whistling while walking through a cross walk because not only will I run your ass over, but I'll slap my Canyonero in reverse and give you a second go through, Canyonero style. Crosswalks aren't a right, they are a privilege and they should be treated as such. When the "Do not walk" hand is flashing, that means you put that ass of yours in second gear, no lollygagging damn it! People have been abusing the crosswalks for far too long now and I don't like it.
And you bicycle riders, you know who you are. You pedal pushing road hoarders, you think you have equal rights to the same road as my Canyonero? If you want to ride a bike, go to France. Otherwise, if you choose to continue slowing up highway speeds, I will be forced to take drastic measures. For years I've been ever so courteously veering my Canyonero into the middle of the road putting myself and others into harms way, and for what? So I don't startle the poor little bike rider? Well no more, that shit ends today. From now on I'll give any and all bike riders the courtesy two honks of the horn and from there, you have two choices. You can either plummet yourself off the road and into the ditch, or let Canyonero escort your ass into the ditch with one swift, suggestive smack to the back of your rear tire. What's it gunna be? And you better not let me catch you wearing tights that have no business being forced onto your chubby body. I will NOT be throwing up in my Canyonero, ruining my plush, leather upholstery because you are in total denial of your flabby physique. I have had it up to here with you people!
I saw this on the Simpsons last night.
Can ya name the truck with four wheel drive,
Smells like a steak and seats thirty five.
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
When it goes real slow with the hammer down,
Its the country fried truck endorsed by a clown.
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
Twelve yards long two lanes wide,
Sixty five tons of American pride.
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
She blinds everybody with her super high beems,
She's a squirrel squishin' deer smackin' drivin' machine.
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
Yahh...yahh canyonero
Whoa Canyonero.
Hucklebuck Canyonero remix:
It's first in its class, nothing else is fit to compare
Don't look at her too long, it's not polite to stare
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
You wunna hop inside and take her for a spin
Sorry son, gotta have a pair to drive the diesel v-twin
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
Never been laid?, well this is a pretty good start
The ladies organism just shifting out of park
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
Too drunk to drive?, let Canyonero be your guide
The new auto-pilot feature, makes for a pretty sweet ride
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
So...the brakes wear out after a year or two
It's not like yer gunna need em, Canyonero's coming through
Canyonero...
Canyonero...
Yahh... yahh canyonero
Whoa Canyonero
# posted by hucklebuck @ 10:42 AM 
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Wow Dyrcs has really gone places...my favorite description was her love for children and photography (creepy)
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