Hucklebuck Writes a Muck

The Diary of a Hungry Man

Something is going on, and the cafeteria is way too crowded. I don't know the exact reason for the influx of people, but they are ruining lunch for me. I have no where to eat, no safe haven. My manager, for some unknown reason, decided to put me in the 11:45 lunchtime slot, you guessed it, the high volume lunchtime. The cafeteria is usually crowded enough at this time, but I think there is some sort of conference/class/convention going on at our office and my little corner of the cafe has been littered with unfamiliar faces the last two days. With the hours I work, I should be eating at 12:15 or 12:45, but I think the weasel next to me stole my lunch hours, that son of a bitch. Now in the grand scheme of things, this is not a big issue. This probably wouldn't ruffle the feathers of most people, but to me, this was a cold, hard, slap to the face. We recently lost two people in our department and for about two weeks I was living on easy street. I had a 12:30 lunchtime and the days were just breezing by. I can't explain it, but having that lunch hang over your head helps, it gives you something to look forward to. And when you're done with lunch, it seems like there is only a couple hours left to the work day. Plus, the major bonus to having a later lunchtime is the spacious cafeteria, I could sit smack dab in the middle of the cafe (I'm usually tucked in a corner) and not be within three tables of the nearest person. Ohhhhhhh, things were sooo good.

But an 11:45 lunch? It's all bad from head to toe. Lunch sneaks up on you when you have to eat that early and then this massive five hour block of time is just sitting there, staring you in the face when you come back from lunch. I already discussed the crowded factor as it pertains to the cafeteria and this also applies to the computer station next to the cafeteria. 11:30-12:30 is the peak usage time for these computers and almost nobody abides by the 15 minute rule for when others are waiting to use the computer. I'm getting frustrated just talking about this. So today, this is what I did, I said fuck it, I'm not eating lunch. I'm protesting this lunch slot until the matter is rectified. There is absolutely no reason why I should be the third person to go to lunch when I'm the fourth person who gets here in the morning. I've seen some outrageous things in my day, but this, this is a travesty.

Before this job, I could have sworn I was a pretty easy going guy, but this job is slowly beating the life out of me. I'm always mad and I constantly have the urge to murder something. A bare handed strangling is just what the doctor ordered, any volunteers? I can see my boycott not lasting the week, I've already leaped off the deep end and I've only skipped one meal, pathetic. So to my supervisor, my weasely co-worker, and the legions of those who doubt I can last the week without lunch, I bid you this. Never underestimate the spirit of a tattered soul. Only two and a half hours until I'm knee deep in leftover Hamburger Helper, jambala flavored for my pleasure.

And since I've still got time to kill, here's a list of movies that I know I haven't seen that most of America has probably seen. * -means I haven't seen any of the movies in that series

-Godfather*
-Titanic
-Starwars*
-Indiana Jones*
-Independence Day
-Harry Potter*
-Lord of the Rings*
-Ghost
-Million Dollar Baby
-Chronicles of Nardia
-Introduction to the Female Anatomy
-How the Female Body Works
-How to Please a Female
-The Key to a Ladies Heart

I guess these are movies that most people my age have already seen by now. Oh well.

# posted by hucklebuck @ 11:08 AM