Friday, February 10, 2006
Draft #57
Random shizzle that keeps the griddle on the sizzle.
I recently discovered that I have a superstition that involves bananas. I never, under any circumstances, eat the banana with the sticker on it, first. That banana was deemed the leader of the bunch by somebody, and if you eat it right away, the rest of the bananas will lose their way and eventually start to rot faster than they normally would. As the chief is to the indians, so is the banana with the chikita label to the rest of the naners. Without them, all is lost.
I also recently discovered that I have problem solving skills. I had accidently purchased a box of Lucky Charms that was too big to be stored in my cupboard. Well, it did fit, but not the way I wanted it to. As stated in an earlier entry, I have a different box of cereal for each day of the work week (different kinds too, I don't just eat Lucky Charms everyday). All the boxes are placed on its side in a longitude fashion, with the boxtop being the only thing you can see when the cupboard is open. All five boxes are in order from left to right according to the days of the week. I eat the same thing on the same day, every week. So you could imagine how disturbed I was to discover what this oversized box of Lucky Charms was doing to my perfect alignment. Thankfully, I hadn't thrown out my previous box of Lucky Charms because there was a couple of bowls left (yeah, I keep backstock on my cereal so at certain points I can be found to have ten boxes in my apartment, and none of the generic crap, brand name stuff baby, that's how I roll). So once the normal sized box was empty, I simply transferred (using a funnel I made out of a paper plate) the Lucky Charms from the big box, into the normal box. As it turns out, you're paying a dollar or so more for the bigger box and you really don't get that much more cereal, what a rip. Another crisis averted, using that good old college-taught know how.
And in a work related matter, the oldest lady in our switchboard department is mysteriously missing. She missed Thursday and Friday of last week, all of this week, and is slated to be out all of next week. With what you ask? Nobody seems to know, although I have a feeling people know and they're just not telling us. Oddly enough the collection folder was passed around with a greeting card though, so something is up. I can't stand not being in the know on this issue. The money is for flowers, and do you think I contributed to this little, flowers for the old bag fund? Hell no I didn't, not if you ain't gunna tell me what's wrong with her. I'm not donating five dollars to a lady with a bad case of hemroids, no way, no how. And this greeting card? I was one of the last people to have a chance to sign it, and what the H do you say to a lady you never talk to who's missing work for an unexplained reason? Everybody had all the cleche lines down already, "Get well" "Come back soon" "We miss you" "We miss you, get well, and we can wait to see you soon". I had nothing left to work with, so I mulled a few options over (Hang in there, thanks for ditching us you miserable, miserable.....) before settling on Git-R-Done signed Larry the Cable Guy parenthesis, Andy. Short and sweet. I put about five seconds of thought into what I wrote and I was a little disappointed that phrase came to me that quickly, cause it's stupid, but oh well, I wasn't going to waste much time thinking of a fraudulently heart warming saying. I wish I could have said, "Hurry back, I'm sick of taking more calls than I should have to, without getting paid extra wages to pick up your slack, you milk this out any longer and you'll regret it, trust me." But if I did that, people might start calling me selfish or crazy and we all know that's simply not true.
Thanks to my being in attendence, the UWM men's basketball squad crushed Youngstown State last night bringing their overall record for games Andy is at to 3-o. UWM had a forty point lead with about ten minutes remaining in the game and the last starter wasn't taken out until around the five minute mark. The head coaches exchange after the game lasted for less than half a second thanks to UWM playing the, let's try to get every player on our team a basket and run our score up to a hundred, in the process, mocking our opponent (who was basically all but defeated by halftime) every step of the way, game. It was fun to watch. Speaking of fun to watch, we were seated in the same section as the women's soccer team and a blonde little number was giving me the, "Who is this guy?" look, which also looks a lot like the "I'd like me some of that" look. I didn't know she or any of the twenty some girls in her section were on the team until they all simultaneously left to head to courtside to get introduced during a timeout. This girl never returned, but I'm pretty sure she digs me. I looked her up on the UWM athletic site today, so I know her name and e-mail address. What should I do about this? And am I a psycho? Please disregard the whole banana, cereal alignment, and greeting card issues before casting judgement.
As soon as my roommate and I exited the doors of the US Cellular Arena, we were approached by a guy handing out flyers. I don't know what about, but before he could explain I shouted out, "I don't know how to read!" We then both sprinted in the opposite direction giggling like school boys. We sure showed that guy what end was up. Please disregard this occurrence while making a decision on whether or not I am a psycho.
I recently discovered that I have a superstition that involves bananas. I never, under any circumstances, eat the banana with the sticker on it, first. That banana was deemed the leader of the bunch by somebody, and if you eat it right away, the rest of the bananas will lose their way and eventually start to rot faster than they normally would. As the chief is to the indians, so is the banana with the chikita label to the rest of the naners. Without them, all is lost.I also recently discovered that I have problem solving skills. I had accidently purchased a box of Lucky Charms that was too big to be stored in my cupboard. Well, it did fit, but not the way I wanted it to. As stated in an earlier entry, I have a different box of cereal for each day of the work week (different kinds too, I don't just eat Lucky Charms everyday). All the boxes are placed on its side in a longitude fashion, with the boxtop being the only thing you can see when the cupboard is open. All five boxes are in order from left to right according to the days of the week. I eat the same thing on the same day, every week. So you could imagine how disturbed I was to discover what this oversized box of Lucky Charms was doing to my perfect alignment. Thankfully, I hadn't thrown out my previous box of Lucky Charms because there was a couple of bowls left (yeah, I keep backstock on my cereal so at certain points I can be found to have ten boxes in my apartment, and none of the generic crap, brand name stuff baby, that's how I roll). So once the normal sized box was empty, I simply transferred (using a funnel I made out of a paper plate) the Lucky Charms from the big box, into the normal box. As it turns out, you're paying a dollar or so more for the bigger box and you really don't get that much more cereal, what a rip. Another crisis averted, using that good old college-taught know how.
And in a work related matter, the oldest lady in our switchboard department is mysteriously missing. She missed Thursday and Friday of last week, all of this week, and is slated to be out all of next week. With what you ask? Nobody seems to know, although I have a feeling people know and they're just not telling us. Oddly enough the collection folder was passed around with a greeting card though, so something is up. I can't stand not being in the know on this issue. The money is for flowers, and do you think I contributed to this little, flowers for the old bag fund? Hell no I didn't, not if you ain't gunna tell me what's wrong with her. I'm not donating five dollars to a lady with a bad case of hemroids, no way, no how. And this greeting card? I was one of the last people to have a chance to sign it, and what the H do you say to a lady you never talk to who's missing work for an unexplained reason? Everybody had all the cleche lines down already, "Get well" "Come back soon" "We miss you" "We miss you, get well, and we can wait to see you soon". I had nothing left to work with, so I mulled a few options over (Hang in there, thanks for ditching us you miserable, miserable.....) before settling on Git-R-Done signed Larry the Cable Guy parenthesis, Andy. Short and sweet. I put about five seconds of thought into what I wrote and I was a little disappointed that phrase came to me that quickly, cause it's stupid, but oh well, I wasn't going to waste much time thinking of a fraudulently heart warming saying. I wish I could have said, "Hurry back, I'm sick of taking more calls than I should have to, without getting paid extra wages to pick up your slack, you milk this out any longer and you'll regret it, trust me." But if I did that, people might start calling me selfish or crazy and we all know that's simply not true.
Thanks to my being in attendence, the UWM men's basketball squad crushed Youngstown State last night bringing their overall record for games Andy is at to 3-o. UWM had a forty point lead with about ten minutes remaining in the game and the last starter wasn't taken out until around the five minute mark. The head coaches exchange after the game lasted for less than half a second thanks to UWM playing the, let's try to get every player on our team a basket and run our score up to a hundred, in the process, mocking our opponent (who was basically all but defeated by halftime) every step of the way, game. It was fun to watch. Speaking of fun to watch, we were seated in the same section as the women's soccer team and a blonde little number was giving me the, "Who is this guy?" look, which also looks a lot like the "I'd like me some of that" look. I didn't know she or any of the twenty some girls in her section were on the team until they all simultaneously left to head to courtside to get introduced during a timeout. This girl never returned, but I'm pretty sure she digs me. I looked her up on the UWM athletic site today, so I know her name and e-mail address. What should I do about this? And am I a psycho? Please disregard the whole banana, cereal alignment, and greeting card issues before casting judgement.
As soon as my roommate and I exited the doors of the US Cellular Arena, we were approached by a guy handing out flyers. I don't know what about, but before he could explain I shouted out, "I don't know how to read!" We then both sprinted in the opposite direction giggling like school boys. We sure showed that guy what end was up. Please disregard this occurrence while making a decision on whether or not I am a psycho.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 7:49 AM 
Comments:
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Well then if I don't sign the card, I become the department asshole. This way I'm just an asshole without everyone knowing about it. Until now. Damn it.
A card in Office World and a card in Real Life are two totally different things; in OW you *should* sign the card, because it's not necessarily tied to the gift.
And Andy, I think that post made me love you.
And Andy, I think that post made me love you.
You're both right! I forgot to mention that everyone's name was written on the collection folder, and I think by crossing your name off, you are stating you contributed. So I crossed my name off AND signed the card. Had I just signed the card without crossing my name off the list, I would have been OK.
But I did both, and now I'm a bad person. Shame on me. I would usually frown upon this kind of behavior, but when it comes to gifts for co-workers I barely know or care for, I have no conscience.
But I did both, and now I'm a bad person. Shame on me. I would usually frown upon this kind of behavior, but when it comes to gifts for co-workers I barely know or care for, I have no conscience.
Andy, once again, you are not alone in something you have done. While at UW-L we were watching Arizona vs. USC in women's volleyball and tried to look up the email address/phone number for all of the players who were attractive, which in that game was about 92%. I love college volleyball.
Is grouping your behavior with my behavior supposed to make me feel better about myself?
You should have seen this girl, she was like sunshine and butterscotch all rolled into one sweet package.
Anything happening tonight?
You should have seen this girl, she was like sunshine and butterscotch all rolled into one sweet package.
Anything happening tonight?
There's a hairy back contest at the Admiral's hockey game tonight, somebody please tell me you want to attend this event? This is a gold mine as far as blog material goes.
ballbach, I really wanted to attend this game tonight, but I didn't hear about it until yesterday on ESPNRadio, but Michelle wants to go to the Lake Front Brewery Tour and fish fry tonight, so that's what we're doing, then we may go out, I have no idea. I'll give you a call after that.
You coming to the birthday party next weekend?
You coming to the birthday party next weekend?
It all depends on how hammered I am come 9pm. I will probably start drinking that day at noon and will continue to do so throughout the two b-ball games I will be attending. Is there a shuttle service running from Milwaukee to your party? Cause I really want to go.
Hey Nate remeber that time we were at an Admiral's game and there was this fight and you thought it was the perfect time to yell out inappropriate remarks? I bet Vin remembers.
yeah, I remember. I also remember the look of death that was shot in my direction afterwards. And what do you mean by "inappropriate"? I thought it was very appropriate given the situation.
Vin, yes, I don't make decisions anymore, it's over, she makes all of them, I am turning in my man card tomorrow.
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Vin, yes, I don't make decisions anymore, it's over, she makes all of them, I am turning in my man card tomorrow.
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