Monday, February 20, 2006
Draft #62
Saturday ended up being a very, very, long day of drinking. I started at noon and didn't stop till about four or five in the morning on Sunday. Consequently the action packed Saturday led to a slow and lazy Sunday which led to me sleeping a lot, which then led to me dreaming, which leads to today's entry. I never really remember most of my dreams, vividly at least, and I don't recall too much of last nights dream, but the little bit I do remember, was pretty awkward. The sequence I recalled began with me sitting in church, somewhere near the front which is odd because I almost never sit in the front. The next thing I know, people are starting to bail and the service isn't even over yet. I turned back to see what time it was on the giant clock located near the back of the church and it indicated that the service was already an hour and a half long. Apparently, these people were getting bored and had better things to do, and I guess my church now has a giant clock so the congregation knows what time they'd like to leave. I was sticking it out, and eventually the pastor just waived his arms and said, "forget it, the rest of you might as well just leave too." I felt bad for the pastor, everyone was ducking out like he was a bad comedian, bombing away on stage.
So at the urging of the pastor, I leave the church with the four or five others that stuck it out and I make my way home. It was nice outside and I guess I decided to walk to church that day. So I'm heading towards my old home in West Bend and I cut through the parking lot of Jay's Auto Body Shop when all of a sudden I noticed a King Kong type creature who must of stood at least sixteen feet tall, tossing parked cars about as if they were folding chairs. This was a beastly figure with sharp teeth, and I proceeded to walk in his direction despite my usual instincts, which would be to run, like a girl, possibly screaming, definitely peeing, unvoluntarily, trying to avoid grave danger. I'm very calm for some reason, and I've convinced myself that the beast will not notice me. Well, he notices me. And he seems really pissed, and he drops whatever car he was toying with and begins to charge in my direction. At this point, my only reaction was to cover my eyes and hope everything turns out OK. After a few seconds of utilizing this strategy, I remove my hands and find a mascot version of Snuffleupagus standing on two legs staring me in the face. I say mascot version because his suit had that peek hole on it, so the guy inside can see where he is going. The mascot muttered something and I couldn't make out what he was trying to say to me, and the next thing I know, I'm being cold-cocked by Snuffleupagus, that bastard.
I eventually come to, and proceed to do what anyone of us would do after being punched in the face by a lovable children's television character, I walk to a baseball card shop that has been out of business for years. For those of you that may recall, it was the shop that was located next to Blockbuster and eventually moved inside of the Paradise Mall. What better to lift the spirits, than a few packs of baseball cards? Maybe I'd score a Ken Griffey Jr or a Frank Thomas? So I finally arrive at the shop and wouldn't you know it, the place is being held up at gunpoint by a man in a ski mask. This time, I allow my instincts to do the talking and I make a run for it, feverishly sprinting to the nearby Valvoline Oil Change Center. I barged in and tried to hide down below where the mechanics work on the car, but a lady was down there (special note to Vin: I didn't give her an oil change, I almost never score in my dreams, I'm the only person that gets rejected in his own dreams, yeah I don't get it either). And it wasn't a saucy vixen I met down in the underbelly of the garage, rather it was the middle-aged woman I hit with my car when I was in college (during college I hit a lady riding her bike as she was trying to cross the street of an intersection. I had a red light and was trying to make a right turn and I was checking traffic to my left while ignoring everything to my right, which was the direction she was coming from. So I finally found a break in the traffic and proceeded to pull out when I discovered the lady on the bike trying to cross the street. I bumped her front tire and she fell off her bike. And of all the people in the world to hit with your car, I hit a lady who was on her way to a city hall meeting to complain about the taxi service in our town and how bad our drivers were). So I'm face to face with this lady again and she's giving me the same lecture on how I should be more careful and how I shouldn't be in such a hurry, you know, middle-aged bickering.
And that was my dream. Random and full of unexpected twists. And on a totally unrelated topic, Duke women's basketball freshman standout, Abby Waner has denied my request to become friends via myspace.com. And currently, she has either deleted her entire profile on myspace, or I am now a restricted user and no longer have permission to view her profile. Either way, the message has been sent loud and clear, Abby is not interested in yours truely. I have been re--------jected!
This Week in Basketball:
Monday: N/A
Tuesday: UWM vs. Detroit/ Bucks vs. Nets
Wednesday: Bucks @ Bulls
Thursday: UW @ Northwestern
Friday: Bucks vs. Sixers
Saturday: Bucks @ Hawks/ Marquette @ Notre Dame
Sunday: UW vs. Minnesota
# posted by hucklebuck @ 9:26 AM 
