Thursday, March 02, 2006
Draft #70
Sometimes a story comes along that just makes you scratch your head. You stand there for awhile and think to yourself, is something like this really possible? How lucky can one person be? Is this all just a dream? I'm pretty sure this is illegal, isn't it? I would imagine these questions ran through the mind of Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko as his wife proposed the following: "Honey, I know how tempting life on the road can be, so that's why I decided to allow you to have one night with a woman, one time a year." And by have one night with a woman, she's referring to giving her husband permission to romp and/or boink a lady of his choice. Mrs. AK47 feels that by forbidding something, it only makes that "something" more tempting. Andrei is married to former Russian pop star Masha Lopatova and says he doesn't plan on exercising his "allowance".
I read this article on ESPN.com today and these were my first reactions.
-Men's Magazine unanimously votes Masha Lopatova their front-running candidate for Woman of the Year.
-Mr. Kirilenko buys his wife a set of calendars that last through the year 2055 and are custom designed containing only two months per year.
-Is Andrei allowed to go on a weekend binge and use up all of his allowances through an x amount of years depending on how much damage he does on said "weekend"? This has major potential for a word problem in an Algebra class. In 2006, Andrei's wife has given him permission to sleep with 4 women per year. Andrei immediately goes out and visits 100 prostitutes without protection in one month. What year will Andrei finally be allowed to sleep with another woman that is not his wife, assuming he doesn't die from a severe case of syphilis before his next cash-in date?
-Has Masha slipped up herself and now feels guilty, so this is why Andrei gets a free pass?
-Why is Andrei not taking advantage of his wife's generous offer? Does he have his own allowance that his woman is in the dark about? I mean he is a rising NBA super star, according to the time scale, he should have about five or six illegitamite offspring at this point in his career. What's the hold up?
-And assuming Andrei went ahead with the allowance, what kind of system is in place to assure he is only sleeping with one lady per year? I'm guessing the honor system just doesn't apply to this situation. If your wife is allowing you to do this, honor flew out the window miles ago. Would the lucky freebie have to sign a permission slip that Andrei is required to send back home to have signed by his wife? Does Masha have a chance to interview/examine Andrei's selections? Is there a punchcard involved?
Or maybe this was all just a test to see how eager Andrei was to go sampling the field. And by just saying NO to pre-approved extra marital affairs, he earned a passing grade. Whatever the case may be, I'm very much confused by the whole scenario and wish never to be in that predicament.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 11:22 AM 
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I'm telling you Hucklebuck, check out the WNBA, it's product is far superior to the NBA. Is Milwaukee any good this year anyway? I think they usually suck! Michael Red is the only player I even know on that team. I don't know how many years George Karl has been there now, assuming he is still the coach, but they never seem to be very good. They should try and get Pat Summitt, I bet she could whip them up into a good team. Sooner or later a woman will be coaching an NBA team. Why not now?
absolutely not. I just want to make sure you are financially sound and never have to work again, and I figured this was the best way to make sure that happens.
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