Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Draft #72
After taking in some of the Oscars on Sunday night, it became apparent to me that I really need to thank people more often. So without further ado, I would like to thank............
-Tyler Hansbrough, for allowing me to live through you vicariously. I can't even count how many times people stop me on the street to tell me how much your game mirrors mine. They tell me if I was only nine inches taller, I to could have been a major candidate for ACC rookie of the year (5 years ago). These people, they tell me Tyler has my vicious inside post game, and how much his jumper resembles my sweet, sweet perimeter touch, noting that our range is so unlimited. No, I don't mind the comparisons at all. Tyler is a good young man, and I have faith that he'll be able to live up to the hype.
-McDonalds, for trying to convince us that a McGriddle and a coffee is a great way to start our day. I'm pretty sure I'd be better off just chewing on a shredded piece of Good Year and washing it down with whatever I could suck out of a used oily rag, but hey, whatever gets your motor running.
-Burt Reynolds, for teaching us the true meaning of what it is, to be cool. We'd be lost without you.
-the UWM Panthers basketball squad in advance for dismantling Butler tonight at the Cell. Butler, thank you for trying, better luck next year.
-Mark Hemauer, for absolutely nothing. You and your photo blog can go straight to......
-the drunk girl with the megaphone who tried to recruit me for their 3rd annual Marchapalooza bar hop on Saturday at the Ale House. You didn't even know me, but that didn't stop you. You just walked right up to me and asked what I was doing for the rest of the day. I was flattered you asked. I was impressed that you were drinking straight from the pitcher. That's not the route most people take at 4pm. I hope all went well with you that day.
-to all my co-workers, who on Thursdays remind me that tomorrow is Friday. And for telling me it's Friday when it is Friday. These proclamations usually begin with a "Yea" as in "Yea, tomorrow's Friday" or "Yea, it's Friday!" Now I have nothing against people who display genuine exuberance in knowing their days of the week, just don't say to me "Yea, tomorrow's Friday!" and then look at me like I'm supposed to have a response to that statement that's anything more than a grunt. Cuz it ain't happen'n.
-to whoever wrote this book that's about to be released. The book that will expose Barry Bonds for the cheat he is. My roommate forwarded me an article SI will be releasing soon that gives all the dirt on the steroids Bonds has been taking since 1998. It's about time!
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