Monday, March 13, 2006
Draft #74
Weekend Review
Friday: At work, my co-workers and I were discussing which women would make our top 5 list, and after telling them my list (Sara Evans, Tiffany Amber-Thiessen, Cobie Smulders, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Alba), I was told that I was shallow. They said I was shallow because everyone on my list was too gorgeous, and that I don't like any average looking girls. Now call me crazy, but isn't that the whole point of listing your top 5 favorite women? These were female co-workers that asked me to name my top 5, and I think I was being tested....aka.....trapped.
Since that time, the running joke in here is that I'm shallow. One of them made a pretty good joke the other day, and I would like to share it with you if I may. Before the burn occurred, this co-worker and I had been talking about how I probably mis-transfer a lot of calls on account of my not listening to the customers as they babble. So today she turned around and said to me, "Andy, I got another one of your mis-directed calls. The lady said she asked for department A and that the guy who transferred her sent her to department B." I asked how she knew that I was the one who transferred the call, and co-worker said to me, "She said the guy that transferred her sounded pretty shallow." And even though I was the butt of that joke, I was still impressed.
Next time you pass a student driver on a freeway, take your hands off the wheel, turn to the student or the instructor (whatever side you're on) and wave your hands at them as if to say, "Hey look, over here, NO hands!" I tried this on the way home from work on Friday and the instructor just shook his head at me and gave me a half smile. It would probably be best to do this on the instructor side of the car because most student drivers are too busy looking straight ahead to acknowledge your impressive gesture.
Saturday: I was introduced to the following phrase, "Wow, I've been to two World Fairs and a goat-fucking contest and I've never seen anything like that before!" And I have to believe I'm a better person for having heard that. Although I'm a little puzzled, as to what determines the winner of a goat fucking contest? Speed, accuracy, total units produced? But I'm thinking that this is one of those situations where the answer really is best left unanswered.
I got to sit on a deck grilling brats, hamburgers, and hot dogs with my brother, without wearing a coat, while listening to music, with the sun shining down on us. Words can't even express how happy that made me.
Sunday: I drew a picture with crayons for my dying grandmother. She said she would display it proudly next to the picture my four-year-old second cousin drew her. I don't like to brag, but my picture is way better. Grandma's birthday party was a smashing success, she told me I was handsome and I smiled and said thank you. Gotta love grandma's.
This week in basketball:
Honestly, if I have to fill you in on what's going down this week in the world of basketball, then there's really no hope for you, you are officially a lost cause and quite possibly a massive square, maybe even a spaz, with a good chance of being a nerd.
P.S. Speaking of lost causes, I will be devoting all of Thursday and Friday to March Madness. I will be away from the office those days drinking and eating heavily. I'm not sure how much time will be wasted in the next two days filling out brackets and pools, but if don't post anything else the rest of the week, you now know why I didn't. Not that anybody really cares.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 12:38 PM 
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Hey Hucklebuck,
I'm coming to Milwaukee next weekend to promote a program for the homeless that gives them jobs driving rickshaws throughout the city. Knowing your dream of someday building your very own rickshaw and my expertise in the field of pedicabs and other wheeled forms of transportation, I figured you might be interested in getting together and discussing the many varieties of human-powered transportation. I figure Saturday night we can go out and find some midgets and female amputees and get our freak on. What do you say? High five.
I'm coming to Milwaukee next weekend to promote a program for the homeless that gives them jobs driving rickshaws throughout the city. Knowing your dream of someday building your very own rickshaw and my expertise in the field of pedicabs and other wheeled forms of transportation, I figured you might be interested in getting together and discussing the many varieties of human-powered transportation. I figure Saturday night we can go out and find some midgets and female amputees and get our freak on. What do you say? High five.
I feel like such an idiot for not knowing that "themagicrat" was Pat. I will never make fun of your LHSS again (for the next 2 days). A hell of a prank Pat the rat, a hell of a prank. High five.
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