Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Draft #102
Hello class, did you know that......
-MRI is short for magnetic resonance imaging.
-Badminton was introduced to the United States in the 1890's and grew in popularity in the 1930's.
-I get gassy when I'm nervous.
-Caligula was responsible for serious disturbances among the Jews, and he nearly caused a rebellion in Palestine by attempting to erect a statue of himself in their temple.
-Treatment of dandruff requires the use of shampoo containing pyrithione zinc, selenium sulfide, sulfur and salicylic acid, or tar shampoo.
-During my one year minor league stint, I made a diving catch in the outfield that brought some of the parents in the stands to their feet. Unfortunately, the catch was made during pregame warmups.
-Fermented milks are believed to have medicinal value in the control of intestinal fermentation by contributing bacteria that aid in digestion.
-Gerbils are small desert rodent found throughout the hot arid regions of Africa and Asia. They are also known as sandrats.
-My sister used to think that a car would come to a complete stop by simply tapping the brakes just once with your foot. Which is a scary thought when you are in a truck with her, while she's at the wheel, taking driving lessons from grandpa and rapidly approaching a nearby tree.
-Homophony is a species of musical ensemble texture in which all voice parts move more or less to the same rhythm, in which a listener tends to hear the highest voice as the melody and the lower voices as its accompaniment.
-Joe-pye weed is the name of a tall North American plant which derives its name from that of a Native American who reputedly effected many cures with the herb.
-Some people have an embarrassing medical condition that is referred to as smelly urine.
-Jack Kemp once attained national prominence as a champion of supply-side economics and urban enterprise zones.
-Federal Express's common mission is to do whatever it takes to meet your needs, unless that is.........you ask them to deliver you a baby iguana............in a box made of gold...............delivered by Vanessa from the Cosby show.............as she sings Men without Hats lesser known hit, Pop Goes the World. Apparently my needs don't count. Thanks for nothing Federal Express, thanks for nothing.
-I once purchased a Ren & Stimpy CD through the good people at Columbia House. Thanks to them, I now know not to wiz on an electronic fence, and remember kids, if you're gonna explode, use the commode.
Me: "I hoped you all learned something today boys and girls." Class: "Oh we did, Mr. Hucklebuck. We learned that badminton is a sport played by economists who have dandruff and that fermented milk is good for you because it helps digest gerbils when you're gassy." Me: "Aren't you forgetting something?" Class: "Oh yeah, Federal Express won't deliver joe-pye weed to your sister because an MRI revealed that Jews don't like erect statues of Ren & Stimpy." Me: "I guess that about covers everything, and remember, practicing homophony doesn't necessarily make you a homo, but it's a start."
# posted by hucklebuck @ 8:08 AM 
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Ballbach, I know who gooseme is, and you know him too. In fact, you have been to his house.
Anyway, are you still planning on going to Buffet with us? Haus, are you taking the bus down to Buffet on the 10th of June? Let me know, and if you are, get me your $20.
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Anyway, are you still planning on going to Buffet with us? Haus, are you taking the bus down to Buffet on the 10th of June? Let me know, and if you are, get me your $20.
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