Thursday, May 18, 2006
Draft #103
A Country Song
I've had myself a real long string of irreversable bad luck
The last straw came right after, I hit a skunk with my pickup truck
My girl said I can't go around killing, poor defenseless animals
I told her those creatures were useless and extremely reprehensible
She didn't quite see it that way, and she started running her trap
She began accusing me of a little of this, and I was blamed for some of that
I guess I'm not a listener, and I'm not too overly sensitive
Her habit of pointing out my flaws has become annoyingly repetitive
So at that moment I snapped, I had just about enough
It was time to take a stand and it was time to act tough
I said this has been swell, but our time together is through
And that's when I gave her the boot, on interstate 92.
With that monkey off my back, I was relieved of a hefty load
And then wouldn't you know it, my truck breaks down, just a half mile down the road
I couldn't get her started, and now I was stranded, standing here all alone
So I dialed for some assistance, on my Nokia cell phone
But the signal wasn't clear, my call couldn't be connected
This day's going quite well, I'd say it's been damn near delightfully splendid
You see my girl and I had left town, to escape all the madness
Things kind of went sour once daddy lost the family business
He got in a little bit of trouble for some slight copyright infringement
And the next stop for him, was 20 years of minimum security imprisonment
So with daddy off to jail and all the money out of sight
Mama headed out to California on the very first flight
She's been shacking up with this bozo just outside of Hollister
I guess she's been cheatin on my pappy now, for bout a year
My dog Rusty kicked the bucket, he got trampled by a semi
Now he's in doggy heaven with all the other pooches in the sky
And if that weren't enough, if things couldn't be getting any worse
I got 40 stitches on my melon after a granny beat me with her purse
Here's some advice, don't ever help an old lady cross the street
Especially when her purse is full of pipe fittings, and she's heading to Farm & Fleet
Oh life is grand, life is dandy, it's a big old bowl of fruit
It's enough to make you cry, it's enough to make you laugh, it's definitely a hoot
When it's got you by the grapes and it's squeezing tight, just remember what I said
Don't be going bananas, when you could be poppin cherries instead
# posted by hucklebuck @ 6:56 AM 
Comments:
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This entry makes about as much sense as a one legged person entering a butt kicking contest. Pure crap, why don't you just go stab yourself with a pencil and be done with it.
# posted by 
: 7:19 AM
: 7:19 AM
You must got manure for your brains, I ain't seen nothing that stupid before. Why would a sweet old lady beat you in the head with a purse full of pipe pieces. It just don't make no sense.
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# posted by : 7:23 AM
: 7:23 AM << Home
