Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Draft #106
Last night was one of the few times, well actually the only time, I was disappointed that I didn't have to drop my pants in front of a stranger with a needle and receive a few pricks to the bee-hind. Dr. Death, as I like to refer to him, decided at my appointment that a shot to the throat would be most appropriate. He said that people in my condition usually have a build up of puss and that draining it would help relieve the swelling on the tonsils. Not overly excited about his plans, I agreed that this course of action would have to be acceptable, since he offered no alternative solution. As the doctor left to procure his weaponry, I began mentally scrolling through the different body locations in which I've received a shot in the past. So far, the bum, bicep, and elbow were the only places to have been penetrated through by needle. I've heard nothing but bad stories about getting shots on your finger or your gums when the Doc needs to freeze it for stitches or dental work. So mentally, I was preparing myself for a pain level that probably laid somewhere between getting a shot in the arm and a shot in the finger (not a walk in the park, yet nothing excruciatingly painful).
So Dr. Death returns with his utensils and I start positioning my head on a 45 degree angle so I wouldn't actually have to see the needle (at this point in my life I hadn't actually visually observed a needle as I was receiving a shot). He was infront of me and a little to my right, so I thought I'd do him a favor by exposing the area that needed to be worked on. When he initially said, "We'll have to give you a shot in the throat to relieve the swelling" I thought he was referring to a shot in the neck, through the skin, you know, on the OUTSIDE of my mouth. So when he asked me to look at him, I became a little perplexed. The next thing I know, he tells me to "open up" as he's headed straight for my mouth with both hands on the needle. The last thing he said before the needle actually pierced the inside of my mouth was, "I apologize in advance". I was thinking to myself, "What do you mean you apologize in advance?" Does this mean you absolutely suck at giving patients shots and that you are prone to giving numerous retakes, or should I be bracing for the pain of a lifetime?
I guess it should be noted that my mom was in the room, so I was determined to act as though this process didn't hurt one bit. The Doc was playing a guessing game of sorts to try and find where the puss was hiding out. His first attempt brought no results, he planted the needle, pulled the back part of the utensil towards him to draw some puss out, and...... nothing. A second attempt produced similar results, so at this point I'm like, "Great, I just got stabbed in the M-Fing throat for no GD reason!! So Doc decides to give it one last try. He aims a little higher this time and blamo!! Success! A needle full of puss. Once the bleeding subsided, I noticed some relief, nothing miraculous, but semi-effective none the less. Now I know what you are thinking, "Andy, I bet you cried like a little bitch" And my reply to that would be, what's your defintion of crying? Cause I know whimpering, sniffling, and underwear saturation weren't part of the equation. But to say that tears weren't present, would be a lie. In my defense, these weren't "I just broke up with my girlfriend" type tears, they were more like "I just got hit in the face with an errant fullcourt shot attempt during gym class" type tears. You couldn't say that full bore crying was taking place, but there was a bit of a salty discharge rolling down ONE of my cheeks, something that could be construed as tears or the act of crying itself, but really isn't when analyzed properly.
My mom said I took em' like a champ, so that's all that matters. When I returned back to the homestead, Pops and little brother were pleased to hear that I was forced to experience an above average level of pain. I don't think those two smile any wider than during the moments their brains picture me in a position of pure torture, but......whatever.
I do remember picturing a bottle of Code Red dancing on the wall located on the other side of the room as Doc jammed that needle in my mouth. It was the only thing that helped justify why it was O.K. to be sitting through all this. Yesterday, before the appointment, I wrote something to the effect of, "I don't know what they have in store for me.....something about clouds...........and then I dared them to bring it on." I should remember to not be so cocky next time. Cuz they definitely brought it, and they brought it hard. And did I ever get to drink that Code Red? No I did not. I settled on a Propel, a Gatorade, and a regular Mountain Dew. I guess Code Red isn't as readily available as I thought it'd be. And the worst part, after not drinking anything after two days, was the let down of finally being able to swallow a liquid. It wasn't as refreshing as I thought it would be. And now I'm hoping this whole thing wasn't just one big pile of symbolism, you know, in regards to my waiting for Miss Right. I don't want to get into it in great detail, but if she and I are in the same situation, then for our first time, I can definitely guarantee there will be a Code Red. I don't know what I'm talking about, but maybe the lessen here is to not settle on just regular Mountain Dew, hold out for the good stuff.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 9:00 AM 
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Dear Hucklebuck,
You don't know me, but I saw you on the street the other day and you were so defined, I thought you were in HD.
You don't know me, but I saw you on the street the other day and you were so defined, I thought you were in HD.
# posted by 
: 9:57 AM
: 9:57 AM
Nygaard plays at 7:00 tonight as well, so if you see him, just give him the $ tonight. If you don't see him, his # is 262-483-0787
by the way, that last message was for ballbach, in case any of you readers are wondering what in the hell that is all about.
And if you were a law enforcement officer reading Nate's comment, it has nothing to do with a drug deal.
Nate, what time does all the madness start on June. 10th? Haus might have to put a few hours in at the grind that morning.
And when is John's birthday?
Nate, what time does all the madness start on June. 10th? Haus might have to put a few hours in at the grind that morning.
And when is John's birthday?
John's burfday is Monday, May 29th. The madness begins whenever you want it to. The bus leaves at 1:00pm from the Good Hope park n ride and 1:30 from the Whitnal park n ride
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