Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Draft #108
Food reports I'd like to read about in the news:
-Pizza found to reduce chances of colon and prostate cancer by 75%
-Taco Bell's grilled stuffed burritos may help increase your vertical leap by 3 to 4 inches
-Looking for the fast track to six pack abs, the answer may lie in the bottom of a dish of your favorite soft serve ice cream
-Scientists say that hunkering down to an all you can eat fish fry twice a month can help clear acne
-McDonald's Chicken McNugget takes credit for healing 15 year old boy's torn ACL in only two weeks
-A diet rich in mayonaise and BBQ sauce has been found to shave .5 to .7 seconds off of 40 yard dash time according to recent studies
-Unknown ingredient in hot dogs may be the best solution to repairing a damaged liver
-Intensive studies at Duke University show that most ingredients found in a hot dog can be classified as "unknown"
-The Colonel's extra crispy chicken recipe linked to vision improvement for 56-year-old glaucoma patient
-Chocolate replaces the "Mick" as number one date rape sedative
-Wanka bar sales sky rocket
-Charlie begins plans for chocolate factory expansion in 2008
-Snickers purchases "Is it in you?" ad campaign from Gatorade for $30 million
-Miller beer products have been found to eliminate cavities from over 95% of its customer base
-Budweiser suspected to be responsible for the bag of dead kittens recovered at the bottom of the Milwaukee River last Tuesday
-Testing agency reveals that double bacon cheeseburgers can increase ACT scores when eaten with a milkshake
-Look out Viagra, Subway's new line of toasted sub sandwiches was the leading cause of male erections in 2006
-Subway's Jerad Fogle gains 150 pounds on broccoli diet
-Jerod Fogle fired as Subway spokesman, and checks into high security fat camp-Paula Deen hired as new Cousin Subs head of food operations.
*The new line of subs include the Bacon Mayo sub, the BBQ rib in Mayo sub, the Cheesy Buttery Honey Baked Ham hoagie, and the Savannah Sausage Sub with 3 kinds of sausage (italian, polish, and summer), a generous layer of mayo, finished off with a creamy ranch n' butter glaze.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 9:01 AM 
