Thursday, May 11, 2006
Draft #98
Random thoughts that come to mind as I gaze upon the spectacle of the 1,212 pound individual, the man they call, Manuel. -Manuel: "I'm never eating steak, lobster, and chicken in the same meal again. Ahh, who am I kidding, I probably will."
-Let's try this again, when I say, "Manuel, would you like a dozen freshly glazed donuts? What do you say?" Manuel, "Yes, I like very much?" Man says, "No! Wrong again, you imbecile! I swear, you will never even sniff 900 lbs, you over-stuffed pinata."
-Which way to the buffet.
-Excuse me, but your balls are showing.
-One would have to think that Manuel has a full-time staff member, who's sole task is to clean out that wastepaper basket next to his bed. The basket probably gets full after his afternoon snack of an entire bag of fun-sized Snickers bars. 2 to 1 odds says that Manuel has tried to stuff an empty pizza box in that basket, and has been scolded countless times for doing so, by his helper.
-"Manuel needs to do poopy" At least that's what the look on his face is trying to say. Oddly enough, that look is very similar to the "I'm about to hand mom/dad a bad report card" look and the "I'm being scolded for eating the entire cake" look.
-Is that an ass crack on your leg?
-Something you never ask Manuel, "Manuel, I'm going out to Taco Bell, do you want me to get you anything?"
-"Manuel want canoe ride!" Sorry, Manuel, you know the rules.
-Manuel Uribe- The story of a man born to be a figure skater.
-Do these drapes make me look fat?
-"Damn it Manuel, it's almost swimsuit season, you better get a move on."
-Not even Jared can save you now.
-Now that I think of it, that look on Manuel's face is also the "I just farted" look.
-If an alien tried squirming its way out of that bulge located next to Manuel's leg, I wouldn't even be surprised. What the "F" is that anyway? Do you think Manuel turns down sweet treats like cheesecake and then defends his refusal by saying, "No, none for me, that will go straight to my 300 lb leg pouch." I don't think so either, I was just wondering. I bet elephantitis had something to do with it.
-Hanes undershirts, in sizes S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL, and now "Family of five".
-It has just dawned on me that I may not be very sensative. I blame society.
-I'm only counting three toes here, what's up?
-Well, I think we know what happened to Carmen San Diego. And I'm pretty sure he ate Waldo for dessert.
-I don't care what anyone says, going to the bathroom has to be an adventure for this fellow. There's just too many laws of Physics and Geometry working against him.
-A Manuel, personal add, white lie: Must like larger men, love of outdoors a must, no kitchen skills required.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 11:40 AM 
Comments:
<< Home
Oh, it's very real. I got the picture off of Yahoo and Manuel is going to Italy to have an operation done to help him "lose weight".
Post a Comment
<< Home
