Thursday, June 01, 2006
Draft #110
A Finish the Sentence Survey
-My ex...used to let me touch her boobs. And for that I am eternally grateful. (Obviously, that's not my lasting memory of her, just said that for giggles, I think the world of her.)
-Maybe I should...reevaluate my situation when I become incredibly excited about the fact that I just went grocery shopping. I made a few bold moves. Kix replaced Rice Krispies in the rotation, Multi-Grain Cheerios replaced regular Cheerios and Strawberry Frosted Mini-Wheats replaced regular Frosted Mini-Wheats. It feels good to go a little crazy.
-I love...not sweating my gym bag off just before bedtime. This is the first year I've been in a home without air conditioning (well technically we have central air, we're just too cheap/stubborn to use it). So I'm in the market for a high powered fan to keep me noots nice and dry, and free from perspiration. I also love tortilla chips.
-People would say that I'm...easy to please, fun to tease, and as delicious as bologna and cheese. Or they might just say I'm a jackass.
-I don't understand...the concept of gravity, greek mythology, toaster ovens, Britney Spears, anything Australian, people's infatuation with board games and Bruce Springsteen, why I haven't been courted by Amanda Bynes yet, and people who can use the word "Parliment" in a sentence without it referring to a pack of cigarettes.
-When I wake up in the morning...my intial thought is, ah foowie.....that's right I really can't dunk a basketball, or I knew that girl was too hot to be talking to me, or I should have known, Jake the Snake Roberts would never really come to my birthday party. That's if I can remember the dream, after that, its time to mentally scroll through everything that needs to get done that day, list a few reasons why running at 5am is a good idea, and then go take a crap.
-I lost...my Macho Man Randy Savage action figure at the Bradley Center during a WWF wrestling venue as a child. I held it up proudly while the Macho Man was in the ring and I swear to this day that he really did point to me while he was in the middle of one of his, one hand on the crotch while the other is pointing to the sky in a circular motion type episodes. It was a special moment. In case you were wondering, yes, I cried on the way home.
-Life is full of...moments where you stop and ask yourself, "I hope nobody smells that."
-My past is...one long line of satisfied women.
-I get annoyed when...I'm sitting near a group of people who are speaking a foreign language and laughing a lot. For some reason I'm convinced that they are cracking jokes at my expense. And I'm not comfortable with that. Sure, I may be confusing annoyance with paranoia, but I have a right to know what's so damn funny.
-Parties are...not, or have nothing to do with, a group of people who came together for the sole purpose of discussing Tupperware, candles, or makeup. Those are sales presentations and should never ever be confused with the act of throwing a party. If you are confused as to what a party really is, then just remember this, if booze and/or fornication are not present at your particular gathering, then you are not at a party.
-Dogs...is a word that should never follow the phrase "what up". If you use this phrase frequently, please stop. People will think you are either incredibly stupid, or they might assume you are currently under the influence of drugs. And if people have to ask themselves whether you may or may not have sniffed the contents of a bottle of hairspray, just by the way you greet people, then you might have to rethink your definition of cool.
-Cats...never quite figured out why or how they got into the cradle. But then again I've never seen little boy blue either. Life is a mystery.
-Tomorrow...I'm hoping to enjoy all that is great about River Splash, drinking in the middle of public streets, and urinating in public because the lines at the Port-o-John are too long.
-I have low tolerance...for Ben Sheets and his physical conditioning this season. Fine, your pitching shoulder hurts, but apparently your eating shoulder is in mid-season form by the looks of things. Ben, do us all a favor, lay off the donuts, and try running a mile or two when you get the chance. We just got swept by the M-F-inn Pirates in a four game series. If I had a cloak, I'd tear it RIGHT now!! Oh, and I can't stand people who just bitch and moan all day. They're a real drag on society as a whole.
-If I had a million dollars...I'd stash it, invest it, and sit on top of it and cackle all day. I'd quit writing in this blog and blow all your houses down. Then I might buy a computer.
-I'm totally terrified...that one day I'll blink and country music won't be cool anymore.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 7:46 AM 
Comments:
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If you need help picking out a high powered air circulator let me know. Having called the fan "the greatest invention of all time" (and no, i'm not kidding), I feel it's my duty to not have you wind up with some whisper-quiet sissified piece of garbage that something with a vagina would pick out.
I'm thinking something in the reinforced stainless steel neighborhood. Something guaranteed to make you so cold at night, you won't be able to find your nuts in the morning.
Yeah, something like that.
(although for some people, that would virtually be impossible)
Yeah, something like that.
(although for some people, that would virtually be impossible)
Creola, I'll have my people call your people and they can hash out the make/model/purchase location details while we drink on the job.
Haus, at least you and I can tie one on Saturday even if Stack and the rat are going to Mil-town to play grab-ass with a pile of lesbians.
Haus, at least you and I can tie one on Saturday even if Stack and the rat are going to Mil-town to play grab-ass with a pile of lesbians.
Kix has recently replaced Apple Jacks in my rotation. Whatever their marketing department is doing they should keep it up. For some reason I can never bring myself to eat Kix w/ milk, it's just so damn tasty by the handful.
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