Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Draft #119
Differences in Age
Things to do to stay in shape:
An 18-year-old might bike, swim, run, play sports, and engage in close personal relations with classmates.
An 80-year-old might get the mail, breath, take medicine, breath, sleep, and walk.
Things to do for fun:
A 21-year-old might go to a concert, a bar, race a motorcycle, and engage in close personal relations with classmates.
An 80-year-old might go to church to play Bingo, shop for wheelchairs, take a nap, and knit doilies.
Things to look forward to:
A 15-year-old: Your 16th birthday so you can acquire a drivers license, your 18th birthday so you can participate in smoking, gambling, and engaging in close personal relations with classmates or yourself as you watch special movies or look at special magazines that were purchased by you and not taken from your father's "secret" stash.
An 80-year-old: The sweet release of death.
Things you don't look forward to:
A 17-year-old: Taking the ACT's, finding summer work, paying for college, wondering if whether or not the last person you had close personal relations with had a disease, and playing your last high school football game.
An 80-year-old: Slipping on ice, watching your friends die, losing your teeth, and crapping your pants.
Things you might do 3 or 4 times a week:
A 19-year-old: Try to score alcohol, smoke drugs, go to a fast food joint, go to class, skip class, and have close personal relations with random dorm mates.
An 80-year-old: Forget where you are, complain about traffic, feed pigeons, crap your pants, and spend an hour listening to polka music while replacing the clear plastic covering on your couches.
Things you might say:
A 14-year-old: Eat me, bite me, whatever, you suck, I hate you, I don't care, and fo-shizzle.
An 80-year-old: Oh my back, damn government, that's the tops, you look spiffy, who ate the last olive, super grip my ass, I ain't wearing diapers, you don't need a license for that, what, who, I can't hear you, speak up, help!
Things you wish for:
A 21-year-old: A job, having close personal relations with more than one person at a time, and to possibly own a home someday.
An 80-year-old: A new hip, hearing aids that can't be seen from five blocks away, one of those fancy canes, and to be able to chew a steak just one more time.
Things that get you in trouble:
A 22-year-old: Driving a car into a tree because you drank to much alcohol, having close personal relations while on the job with or without a co-worker, lipping off to your folks, and throwing snowballs at moving cars.
An 80-year-old: Forgetting your medication, driving automobiles, the stairs, the shower, investment agencies, shoelaces, and hyper grandchildren.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 11:18 AM 
Comments:
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I could definitely tell Creola had the ass full by the time I left.........and evidently Ralph had decided to take the "world tour" with him, i've NEVER seen him that loaded. So you decided to give into the peer pressure? Short ride home at least.
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