Friday, June 30, 2006
Draft #121
Freestyle Friday (who used the last of the ketchup?)
-If dogs don't like cats and cats don't like mice, then who do mice hate? Think about it.
-If you have the chance, go for it. Have the chicken sandwich, cheeseburger, brat, and hot dog at your next 4th of July celebration. That way, you can tell all of your friends that you ate for the cycle. And they, your friends, will be impressed and hold you in high regards. Either that, or they'll think you are a slob. And honestly, you've been called worse.
-If I were to ever encounter a real life zebra, I'd have no idea how to react, I honestly wouldn't know what to do or say.
-If you find that there's a guy in your life that you are constantly calling a pussy, try calling him a bro-gina. He'll probably appreciate the change of pace.
-You've all heard the tongue twister, but what's really keeping the woodchuck from chucking wood?
-If you've ever contracted lyme disease, you know first hand that it's not as tasty as it sounds.
-I had Qdoba twice this week for dinner and I must say, the steak burrito is light years better than the shredded beef burrito. If you'd like to convince me otherwise, you are as dumb as a post.
-A special thanks goes out to Tim Osowski and his hospitality last weekend. Between the tasty Molson Canadian brew, the balcony, the sporty transportation, and the recliner I passed out in, I'd say I owed you one.
-I don't think I've ever ran into another person in my lifetime that's heard of the Bremen Town Musicians. http://www.fln.vcu.edu/grimm/bremereng.html
-I still have fond memories of playing the Family Feud video game on our old family computer, the Apple IIGS. Fond, fond memories I tell ya. "We're looking for the number one answer to this; Things you might find in a teenager's sock drawer." Nothing, at the time, was funnier than answering "boobies" for a random question and receiving a big fat strike. Eddie Murphy had nothing on us.
-Sources tell me that back in the 80's, Willie McGee used to take HGH, like it was crack or something. Or was it the other way around?
-Lunch was so filling, I could poop a pirate.
-Over the weekend I conversed with a person, who will remain nameless, that told me he bought some cologne, and that with the purchase he received a free cooler. He claimed it was his "usual" cologne and that the cooler didn't sway his decision in buying the cologne. I told him he was full of shit since he was talking about how much he liked the cooler. I told him he probably bought a $25 bottle of Kenny Roger's Musk just to get the damn cooler. He denied the accusation.
-Another caller said I was stupid today. He asked for a particular person. I told him I don't have a listing for that person. He's like, don't tell me that, I know she works there. I'm like, I don't have any record of this person. He starts telling me that I don't know what the hell I'm doing, and that I have no clue. I'm like, that's very nice of you to say that. And he's like, it's not my fault you're stupid.
Now I'm not saying I want this guy to get run over by a city bus, but if he were to get trampled by a large mode of transportation, I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. Just saying.
-Enjoy the last day of June everybody!
# posted by hucklebuck @ 10:22 AM 
