Friday, September 01, 2006
Draft #141
Freestyle Fridays (America's number one source for nothing important)
-The softball season came to an end last night and Behm Brothers Drywalling finished the year in 3rd place. When looking for an excuse as to why our team lost our one and only playoff game, I'd have to place the blame solely on our fan base. Your overall season attendance was a down right shame. It's time to look in the mirror and ask yourself, "Was there more I could have done?" And the answer is Yes. Way to go. On a lighter note, the right center fielder of the opposing team wants to kick my ass.
-Remember kids, chewing gum makes for a much better experience when you chew it with your mouth.
-To those of you home owners out there, I'd just like to alert you of the fall season that is approaching and all of the leaves you are going to have to rake. Suckers!
-If you've never seen the movie, The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer, consider yourself a protuberant larch.
-I have a fantasy football draft tonight and I'm eagerly anticipating one of our owner's imfamous name pronunciation slaughterings. In years past he's come up with some good ones like Mack Berger (Marc Bulger) Plexis Burris (Plaxico Burress) and Jay Sew (Junior Seau). This owner isn't one of the most successful in the league to say the least, but he does however, hold the record for the loudest, most greasiest farts in draft history. That bomb in 04' still gets talked about to this day.
-I have a date on Saturday night...........with a girl!
-Did you know that NBA legend Rony Seikaly was born in Beirut? Well of course you did. But did you know he drives a sports car with a leather exterior? -Speaking of Rony Seikaly, what's David Copperfield up to these days? What do the two have in common you ask? Well I've been told by numerous Greek women that when the sun hits Rony at just the right angle, it's a magical sight to behold.
-I know, I know, I'm pretty much fed up with David Copperfield as well.
-I don't know if you heard this or not, but Matt Leinart knocked up a broad. And between you and me, she ain't hard to look at.
-Pizza Hut has come out with a new Lasagna Style Pizza and I'm a little too excited about this.
-Who do you think would win in a basketball matchup between Senegal's national team and Michigan's Fab Five? I'm not talking about the Fab Five in their college prime, I'm talking about them now, in the year 2006. How hard would it be to find Ray Jackson and Jimmy King? Do you think they can still grab the rim and/or make it up and down the court without the use of a defibrillator?
-Eric Karabell of ESPN.com has predicted that the Green Bay Packers will finish this upcoming season with a 4-12 record. Personally I think that prediction is completely bogus. The Packers, in my opinion, have all the right components to land themselves a not so shabby 5-11 record.
-If the Packers win more than 6 games this season, my brother Adam has agreed to shave his testicles with a bowie knife and then paint one green and the other gold......or yellow.......or whatever color that is.
-I'll admit it, I'm officially terrified of raccoons. They're a carnivorous mammal you know.
-My uncle Steve holds the Schramdon County record for having rabies for the longest amount of time without actually knowing it.
-Betty Crocker is such a whore. I swear. But that whore sure can cook.
-Did you know that Rony Seikaly has his own line of artificial cheese spreads?
-My sweet old landlady offered me some tomatoes and cucumbers from her garden the other day and I turned her down, twice in one exchange. If you'd a seen the look on her face when I told her no, you'd have a hard time being convinced that I'm not headed straight to hell. So take my advice. The next time an elderly person offers you some vegetables from her garden, just say yes. Even if you don't particularly like the vegetable being offered, it wouldn't kill you to just make her happy. Don't be such an ass.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 11:05 AM 
