Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Draft #149
One Shining MomentCertain things in life are just a given. When Glenn Robinson dribbled the ball in traffic it was a given that the ball would be stolen by a defender or would be dribbled off his knees and out of bounds. You knew that whenever Vin Baker took to a basketball court that the faint smell of booze would soon fill the air. And finally, during any of the local broadcasts of a Bucks game, it's always comforting to know that Jon McGlocklin will be cackling like a hyena at one of his own jokes (not that there's anything wrong with that). And that later in the game, he will be insisting that the Bucks get another stop and a score to give them a chance to win the ball game.
It's comforting to know that certain things will occur at certain times. I believe the phrase is clockwork- perfect regularity or precision.
For instance, in case the three previous examples weren't enough, when Ahmad Carroll was forced to enter last night's game against the Eagles, it was comforting to know that Carroll was good for about three penalties and about a country mile's worth of big play yardage at his expense. Why was this comforting you ask? Well I'll tell you why. When you're going into that game down by 29 points in your fantasy football matchup and your only remaining player is Donovan McNabb, well........that's pretty much the equivalent of rolling out the cross-eyed kid to the plate with two outs in the bottom of the ninth during any summertime little league contest. McNabb was the 6'1'' twelve-year-old pitcher with the lazer rocket arm and Carroll was the gangly nine-year-old, pants full of piss, barely able to hold his own bat, sitting in the back of the box, praying to God that one of those fastballs doesn't catch him on one of his rail thin appendages.
So like clockwork, once McNabb and company realized that #28 for the green and gold was on the field, they did what anybody would have done in that situation and lit his ass up like a Christmas tree dipped in a nuclear, neon goo. The end result? McNabb threw for 288 yards and two scores all while rushing for 47 yards and two more TD's on the ground. Was I supposed to have any chance in hell of winning that fantasy football matchup? Probably not. Fantasy QB's usually don't put up 34 points all too often. But for a downtrodden fantasy owner who expected yet another notch in the L column this week, this most unusual of occurrences came as a very welcomed surprise.
So Pat Osowski, if you're out there, I'm not going to ask you who your daddy is or tell you how great Nitschke's Nimrods are and how they are destined for a Paradise Mobil Fantasy Football League Championship this season, using your roster of monkey-assed corn jaggers as a springboard. No, I won't do that. I've been on the receiving end of too many of those crushing defeats and know the stinging sensation associated with them all too well. Does this recent victory make me great though? Some will argue yes. I however, am just happy to have one more reason to like fantasy football again, and you Pat, have one more reason to hate the Packers.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 7:20 AM 
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Personally, I'm a huge fan of Norman Einstein's work. He's the guy that invented leg warmers, isn't he? Or was it the Q-Tip?
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