Friday, October 13, 2006
Draft #153
Friday Afternoon Chicken Scratch
-Someone recently told me never to eat at KFC because they don't even use real chickens. I don't care if they're breading/deep frying mutated squirrel, that stuff is good and I will continue to visit this establishment on my current "once every four months" clip. What's next? Should I not date a girl because she was adopted? Maybe these two scenarios are totally different and don't apply, but to me, they seem similiar.
-I don't know why, but I have a feeling that the 2006-07 New York Knicks will actually be pretty good this season. It has an eery "Win this one for the gipper" type feeling to it. An "Us against the world" mentality that could boost them as high as the 6th playoff spot come April. So long as all the NY strip clubs agree to hang "Do not serve these individuals" posters of all the Knicks players on or near the entrance of their establishment.
-Worst invention ever: Disposable mattresses made of sponge catered to those times when you and your lady friend are chomping at the bit to do the hibbady jibbady, but the little lady is having her special lady time. Like I said, worst invention ever.
-The 2nd worst invention ever: A sleeping bag that is actually just a giant tube sock designed for those times when............
-My friday night to do list:
Buy booze
Do laundry
Make an obscene amount of mac n' cheese
Try to refrain from eating an obscene amount of mac n' cheese
Eventually ask myself, "Was it really necessary to eat that much mac n' cheese"
Call a sleezy 1-900 number and have a normal conversation with whoever or whatever I get
-If you've eaten a licorice rope within the last 4 years, consider me jealous.
-Employee of the Month isn't that great of a movie.
-If my smoke detector ever went off, I wouldn't even know how to get it to stop beeping. In this event, here is a list of things I would probably do in addition to panicking:
Sing a Billy Joel song
Drop a couple hundred F-bombs
Assume the fetal position until help arrives
Count backwards
Throw a lamp
Run
Cry
Redirect smoke
-With Sara Evans soon to be on the market, I'm making my dishonorable intentions known right away. I'm young, energetic, and willing to do anything that doesn't involve a sanchez, a steamer (both Cleveland and Toledo), a vacuum, a swing, a rolling pin, a tub of Crisco, and Regis Philbin.
-Is it me, or has there been way too many movies involving a horse and a "can do" spirit within the last three years?
-Warm green tea smells like a dirty sock.
-Flatch. If my parents were to have given me this name upon my birth I guess I wouldn't have minded too much. As long as my middle name didn't begin with a "U" and my last name wasn't Lenz.
-I'll give you the product brand name and you guess the product: Armadillo brand........
(Hint: In the commercial for this product, a lady can be seen talking into the camera, declaring that she can never get an ounce of sleep without her Armadillo)
-In Nip Tuck, when that chick got hit by that bus.......that was awesome.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 12:45 PM 
Comments:
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The "tube sock" bullet point just before the Friday night plans bullet point?
Looks like a Freudian slip to me. I guess things aren't as random as you make them appear to be.
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Looks like a Freudian slip to me. I guess things aren't as random as you make them appear to be.
# posted by 
: 2:50 PM
: 2:50 PM << Home
