Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Draft #170
Joey Explains Christmas
Oh hey there Timmy, what's that you say?
Christmas is the dumps and you wish it'd just go away?
Now stop right there, before the worst comes to pass
Santa might hear you and beat your scrawny ass
Everyone loves Christmas, that's the absolute truth
Now you better buck up before I knock out your front tooth
Your attitude stinks and you're bringing others down
I suggest you pull a 180 before Santa comes to town
People who hate Christmas are the nation's graffiti
And they're no better than Hitler or Benito Mussolini
They probably don't have a soul, of that I'm pretty sure
And their hearts are pitch black and reek of a rich horse manure
Now I'm sorry to say this, I hate being the bearer of bad news
But if you continue on this path, made famous by a one Ebenezer Scrooge
You'll grow up lonely and pathetic, owning way too many cats
And you'll die alone in a field full of blood sucking rats
Now does this sound like fun, is this what you want to become?
A crusty old geezer or a booze sucking bum?
For without Christmas spirit, you'll forever be on Santa's shit-list
And with each passing year, he'll grow even more pissed
So for your own sake, may I suggest you at least fake some cheer
A few Joy to the Worlds might help keep Santa, from bloodying up your ear
You best turn that frown upside down and stop acting like a turd
Cuz a kid who don't like Christmas is just way too freakin absurd
Santa can't comprehend, your piss poor attitude
Calling him a bearded twat rag wasn't very polite, in fact it's down right rude
So if you want Santa to leave you more than just some coal or a Matchbox 20 CD
Show everybody your holiday spirit and how much of a jolly soul you can be!!
# posted by hucklebuck @ 12:07 PM 
