Monday, April 09, 2007
Draft #190
The Many Moods of Facebook
-Larry isn't quite sure whether or not his last sexual encounter was with a man or a woman. But either way, he had a good time.
-Melanie is sad because her boyfriend was thrown in jail again, for the 3rd time.
-Bob hopes Melanie remembers what to do with his leftover stash of crank.
-Tim doesn't remember how he got home last night from the bar but he does remember playing horseshoes with a walrus.
-Pat is still not convinced most Cubs fans know their ass from a hole in the ground.
-Joey is upset because he joined the group "We Want More Bush" but had no idea it was a political facebook group.
-Karl is bummed out because he just recently discovered that going balls deep isn't all it's cracked up to be.
-Jim is pissed off at KFC because they forgot to include the popcorn chicken with his Big Box Meal order.
-Barry is wondering whether he should do the laundry or wear that pair of boxers with the brown streak just one more time.
-Troy is still not sure how his girlfriend convinced him to go to the museum last Friday but he is pretty sure that he is one more date like that away from being single.
-Aaron is so pleased with the 4-alarm chicken sandwich he just purchased from Wendy's that he's decided against sticking his head in the oven this afternoon.
-Christopher is not gay but he's a bit confused as to why his britches tingle every time Mario Lopez is on the TV.
-Dan is tired of having that dream of Rosie O'Donnell and then waking up with wet shorts, history class is bad enough as is.
-Andy is hoping Vladmir Guerrero hits a home run over the 300 club this week at Miller Park because that would be awesome, almost as awesome as Fig Newtons on ice cream.
-Greg is confused because if Beavis and Butthead really did do America then where is America's insertion point?
-Kurt is tired of asking girl's permission for entry, he's just going for it from now on.
-Roger is sick of hearing that the best things in life are free especially since he's a pimp and has kids to feed.
-Gary is learning one of life's most important lessons....ignoring golfball-sized dingleberries can have painful ramifications.
-Kevin isn't happy about his girlfriend's cooter smelling like a pile of oily rags.
-Lenny is absolutely sick and tired of his most recent batch of crotch lice that just won't go away.
-Wayne is currently thinking about peeing his pants but will probably just lean off the side of the couch and piss in the plant holder again.
-Renaldo just finished watching Mall Rats and is currently contemplating sticking his finger up his butt to see if the theory is true.
-Roy thinks we should stop blaming AIDS on monkeys and start blaming it on the real source....people who have sex behind dumpsters.
-Corey is certain that Guy Smiley from Sesame Street probably got his ass kicked a lot.
-Ryan is simply asking everyone not to steal his jar of urine if and when he ever becomes homeless.
-Ryan is not sure why homeless people save their own urine in jars but he figures there's a logical explanation for it.
-Mike wants everybody to know that he'd still eat an order of fries from a fastfood restaurant even if he found a pube resting on top of it. Mike thinks that if he was homeless this wouldn't even be an issue.
-Harry is thinking he likes his women like he likes his rice.....wild and dirty.
-Adam has recently cancelled his subscription to Young and Buff magazine.
-Jake is wondering if anybody else is up for some BBQ chicken pizza and a roll in the hay.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 11:49 AM 
