Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Draft #193
Listen and React
Today I will be listening to CMT radio and making comments about the songs that are played. Actually, I'll probably be making comments about random things that the lyrics made me think of, but you (hopefully) get the point. It's all pure crap anyway, this blog that is, not country music.
Freddy Fender- Before The Next Tear Drop Falls
-No clue who Freddy Fender is but he's speaking Spanish in the middle of the song so that's a huge downgrade. If I was Chris Berman I'd nickname him Freddy "I'm coming off a twelve day" Fender.
Anne Murray-Could I Have This Dance
-No you may not you dirty whore.
Faith Hill- Breathe
-Actually this song is about what Faith has to continually tell men when they see her in person. I know I'd be panting like a hyena if I ever came within 4 feet of her.
Charlie Rich- Behind Closed Doors
-If I know Charlie like I think I know Charlie, I'd say he gives the most gentlemanly donkey punches in town. And he only slaps things that need slapping.
George Strait- I've Come to Expect it From You
-Whenever I hear this song I feel I should be wearing a cowboy hat and kicking a mule in the ass.
Alabama- Love in the First Degree
-Just a great F-in song.
Tim McGraw- She's My Kind of Rain
Translation: She's got a great ass and can cook.
Hank Williams- Hey Good Luckin'
-Quite a far cry from rapper Deez Nuts' hit single, Bitch What's Crackin'.
Randy Travis- Forever an Ever, Amen
-Oh darlin, I'm gonna love you forever (assuming you kick that drug habit and don't put on an extra 50 el Bees).
Johnny Cash- Ring of Fire
-If you haven't heard this song in a bar before you've either never been in a bar before or you're just plain deaf and couldn't hear a locomotive if it was sniffing your ass while walking a set of railroad tracks.
Roy Orbison-Crying
-Whenever somebody mentions to me that it looks like I've been crying, I tell them I just got done shitting a whole pineapple.
Michael Martin Murphy- What's Forever For?
-A common line you ladies might hear from guys that probably own 3-7 venereal diseases.
The Judds- Mama He's Crazy
-"Mama, he wanted me to go bowling. Do I look like the type of girl that wants to go bowling?" -Brooke from Real World-Denver
John Denver- Annie's Song
-Lloyd Christmas said it best, "That John Denver is full of shit."
Ronnie Milsap- It Was Almost Like a Song
-Instead it sounded more like 50 cats in a blender.
Hank Williams Jr.- Real Men Eat Their Own Scabs
-Yeah, I made that one up.
George Strait- Check Yes or No
-I actually tried that strategy in the 4th grade (sending a girl a piece of paper that asked if she liked me- check yes or no) and apparently (as I found out) if the girl is smart enough she'll write in a third checkbox with the caption "Go F yourself" and then check that option. A simple no would have done just as well. Anywho, she got hers in the end, two years later she was clinically diagnosed with cooties.
# posted by hucklebuck @ 11:28 AM 
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You forgot to add the classic, "I kissed my mama with my fist". Just an all around great song and anthem for everyone in Kentucky
Nice, you're right. It was nice.
Hey, did anyone else love the Chuck Norris scene(s) from Family Guy on Sunday, or was it just me?
Hey, did anyone else love the Chuck Norris scene(s) from Family Guy on Sunday, or was it just me?
In Anne Murray's day, a woman didn't just walk up to a man and ask for a dance. That would be considered profoundly slutty.
If you were referring to the girl that was later diagnosed with cooties, your assumption is accurate. She was a hypersonic whore, fast AND easy.
If you were referring to the girl that was later diagnosed with cooties, your assumption is accurate. She was a hypersonic whore, fast AND easy.
I missed the episode, but if Chuck Norris was involved it had to be good.
He didn't happen to spin kick anybody, by chance?
He didn't happen to spin kick anybody, by chance?
I think the only way cooties can be transferred is by holding hands with a girl, or by sharing an iced cream cone with a girl.
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