Friday, June 01, 2007
Draft #196
Freestyle Fridays (where there's smoke on the water and fire in the sky)
-I just heard a commercial on the radio advertising rain gutters and the company supplying the gutters offered a "no clog" guarantee. Unfortunately, my brother Adam doesn't come with that same guarantee when it comes to his afterwork bathroom visits.
-Congratulations are in order for Nate Filzen and his once girlfriend Michelle Mihm. And no, they did not breakup, so boys keep your mits to yourself because this little filly is becoming a Filzen!! The two mutually decided to take on the title of fiance by becoming engaged over the Memorial Day weekend. So if you've noticed a buzz in the air this week and didn't quite know what it was, well now you know.
-I adjusted my chair at work today for the first time since I've been here and I'm liking it. I have a whole new outlook on life. I feel like Elaine Benes taking a comfort cruise through Kramer's luxuriously wide highway lanes.
-The top 100 signs that indicate you might be a douchebag....sign #74: You're an Elvis impersonator (bonus douchebag points if you live outside of Memphis or Vegas).
-My food craving of the week: BBQ chicken pizza with jalapenos from the Pizza Shuttle. What I'll end up settling for: a sleeve of Ritz Crackers and a half a stick of butter.
-Pat Graven, you are a miserable human being. You B and Moan about how I don't write enough on the blog and then I go out and write an entry that is completely about you and I can't even muster one comment out of your crusty ass. Luckily, you really know how to appreciate a good mushroom swiss burger so I can't get too mad at you. Your words were too kind.
-If you thought LeBron James performance last night was impressive let me take you down memory lane for just one second. Once during sixth grade, Jed Justman and I each scored 16 points a piece in a 34-16 shellacking of Faith Fond Du Lac. And yes, for those of you who are mathematically inclined, only one other person on our team scored a basket that day. This was the golden era of sports when winning was everything and participation was for those who could hack it and not just for any ninny with a jockstrap and a parent's signature.
-The top 100 signs that indicate you might be a douchebag...sign #75: You're twenty five years old and you look back on your grade school athletic achievements fondly (bonus douchebag points if you still proudly display your grade school trophies and awards somewhere in your living quarters).
-Bobby Flay has a thing for mangos. You either understand that statement or you don't, there's no middle ground.
-Haus and I recently partied with Pepe Lopez and drove home to tell about it. If you're into bottom shelf tequila, you know who Pepe is, he's basically the bagged cereal equivalent to alcohol.
-Yes, John Osowski, Ryan Braun really is the new black.
-Last night at the Brewers game I was inches away from booing the young girl who was chosen to do the junior PA announcing. She was barely old enough to read and did a horrible job. Sometimes when kids take their crack at announcing upcoming batters their innocent foulups are often viewed as cute and somewhat delightful. But in this instance, I found her inefficiencies to be quite annoying. We can all just thank our lucky stars that Jarrod Saltalamacchia is not on the Brewers because that would have been a complete disaster. And incase you are wondering, G.G. Herdy is now playing shortstop for the Milwaukee Brewers, good grief!!
-Top 100 signs that you might be an asshole...#76: Read previous bullet point.
-A couple other observations from last night's Brewers game:
*not only is Miguel Cabrera on steroids, he eats them by the bottle.
*whoever made the trade for Prince Fielder in my Strat-o-matic fantasy baseball league is a genius.
*the guy sitting next to me was wearing a Jason (Friday the 13th) type hockey mask on his head and I didn't even stop to ask him or myself, why? I must be losing my curiosity.
-In an effort to remain positive, I recently joined a gang to improve my knife wielding skills.
-In an effort to be ironic, I recently became Catholic and married a Jew.
-In an effort to become lousy and miserable, I recently became a Cubs fan.
-In an effort to rid myself of suspicion, I recently spied on myself for two hours.
-In an effort to be more miraculous, I recently flushed the toilet after using it.
-In an effort to be more sarcastic, I recently thought for a second that this blog entry was excellent.
-By accident, I think I just finished a blog entry without the use of any cexual innuendoes. I believe that might be a first.
-Oh no, I can't fight the urge....here it comes.....what do you call two Asian women who really love each other? Give up.....they're called resbians. Thank you, thank you, good night everybody!
-P.S. Go see this movie: http://www.knockedupmovie.com/
# posted by hucklebuck @ 7:16 AM 
Comments:
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Congrats to Philly. Can you believe a guy brings an awesome sign to the ballpark in San Diego and can't even get some face time on television?
Top 100 signs that indicate you might be a douchebag #62.... You actually turn down the trade of Prince Fielder for Tom Glavine. Thankfully I came to my senses and eventually pulled the trigger.
Give Pat a little break. For those not too computer literate, signing into the blog with the "new" sign in format can be confusing. He should be figuring it out soon and make a post. Besides, you think he has time for this blog now that he courting Miss Kournakova.
Thanks John. I appreciate it. Ballbach, thanks for the pub on your blog, now we don't have to send out an engagement notice.
John: Whoever is running the show over at FSN-north should be fired, immediately. Stunning good looks and crafty ingenuity such as yours, should never be ignored.
Kurt: I hope Pat will hook you up with a nice little pool boy position so you can do what it is that pool boys do when the husband is gone.
Pat: I'm right here, come get some.
Nate: I'm glad I could extend the news to an extra 5 people.
Kurt: I hope Pat will hook you up with a nice little pool boy position so you can do what it is that pool boys do when the husband is gone.
Pat: I'm right here, come get some.
Nate: I'm glad I could extend the news to an extra 5 people.
16 points versus Faith in Fon du Lac. Ah... I remember sitting on the bench at that game waiting, waiting, and waiting to play. I think I qualified as one of the jock strap wearing, parent signature basketball players. But know my comic book collection is over 3,000 dollars so WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!!!!..........im going over to the corner in shame.
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