Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Draft #197
Interpersonal Communication....
is the process of sending and receiving information, at least that's what I learned when I took this course at UWWC. We had actually spent a chapter or part of a chapter discussing the topic of relationship development. Do any of you know what relationship development actually is? Of course you don't. Who does? That is why I've decided to breakdown Mark Knapp's Relationship Escalation and Termination Models so that we all might gain a better understanding on how relationships begin and end.
Knapp's Relationship Escalation Model (the 1984 version of the model with modern day examples--things move a little faster these days)
Stage One: Initiation
"This stage is very short, sometimes as short as 10-15 seconds. In this stage, interactants are concerned with making favorable impressions on each other. They may use standard greetings or observe each other's appearance or mannerisms."
Example:
-Paul might walk up to Jessica during a whisky social and comment on how succulent her rack is looking that evening. Jessica will most likely giggle and thank Paul for noticing. After about 20 consecutive seconds of looking into each other's eyes, the initiation has begun.
Stage Two: Experimenting
"In the next stage, individuals ask questions of each other in order to gain information about them and decide if they wish to continue the relationship. Many relationships progress no further than this point"
Example:
-Paul might be zipping his pants back up, in the alley near the dumpster, after Jessica performed an unspeakable act on him and ask, "Hey, what's your name by the way?" or "Hey, you must have taken a course on how to do that because you are really good at it. You must have finished first in your class?" After 30 consecutive seconds of silence and awkwardness, the experimental stage is now complete.
Stage Three: Intensifying
"Self-disclosure becomes more common in the intensifying stage. The relationship becomes less formal, the interactants begin to see each other as individuals, and statements are made about the level of commitment each has to the relationship."
Example:
-In this stage Paul will reveal to Jessica that his real name is Bill and that there is a 22% chance that he has herpes. He will insist it is no big deal and he will hope that his "allowing Jessica to perform the unspeakable act on him" does not send any mixed messages since he's not looking for anything steady at this time. Of course Bill being a guy, none of this will actually be communicated verbally, it will just be assumed.
Stage Four: Integrating
"The individuals become a pair in the integrating stage. They begin to do things together and, importantly, others come to see them as a pair. A shared relational identity starts to form in this stage."
Example:
-Bill and Jessica, having become quite bored with their intimate relationship, will now start to incorporate new toys into the equation to help spice things up. Whips, chains, swings, and numerous other unmentionables are common place during the integrating stage. The shared relational identity becomes noticeable, Bill and Jessica now realize they are both freaks. Hot tub orgies at this point are a weekly occurrence, and now others can easily see them as a pair. Bill will have most likely grown a pretty sweet mustache by this point.
Stage Five: Bonding
"During the bonding stage, a formal, sometimes legal, announcement of the relationship is made. Examples include a marriage, "best friend" ritual, or business partnership agreement. Few relationships reach this level."
-Once Jessica pays the $5,000 bond to get Bill out of jail for not showing up to his DUI hearing, Bill thinks he might be in love with Jessica. To make things official, the two go halfsies on a trailer and move into a trailer park. Within three years, the couple will end up on an episode of Cops once the neighbors call in a domestic disturbance that got started because Jessica bought a case of Busch Light cans again instead of the Keystone Light 30 pack that Bill prefers (but then again, maybe I should be saving this for the Relationship Termination Model, which I'll discuss tomorrow--if there's time).
# posted by hucklebuck @ 10:54 AM 
