Friday, September 05, 2008
Wedding Card
Do you remember Rosie? That sweet old lady in the movie the Wedding Singer? Well in the movie she reveals to Robbie that she had intercourse with 8 different men before her wedding night. Now assuming the actress who played Rosie got married when she was 20 years old that would have happened around 1938. Pro rate her level of sexual promiscuity in the 30's to today's moral free atmosphere where having premarital sex is as common as eating lunch, I'd say she would have had sex with around 64 different men if she would've gotten married in today's modern era. Thus making her a gigantic slut.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope neither of you have slept with that many people before your special day and if you have, we need to have a talk about a little something I like to call, genital herpes. And if you already know about genital herpes, thanks to first hand experience, and are already taking measures to suppress the outbreaks, then I guess that leaves us with not much else to talk about. And then to that I would say:
Participating in marital relations is like drinking alcohol after turning 21. It may not feel as dangerous anymore but odds are you probably won't do it as often as you get older and you probably won't do it while eating pizza and playing video games. Basically the overall key to any happy marriage is a steady balance of the four major pillars to ball tingling goodness: Sex, Alcohol, Pizza, and Sports. The more the better. And if you can somehow incorporate all four at once, then my hat's off to you both.
Here's to feeling good all the time,
Hucklebuck
# posted by hucklebuck @ 10:46 AM 
